For the past couple of weeks I have had moderate morning sickness. I rarely get the relief of throwing up, I just have constant nausea. In the morning it's bad because I wait too long to eat. I know this, yet I haven't changed my pattern. I get up, shower, get dressed, take the dogs for a walk, get lunch ready, then eat breakfast. What I should do is: get up, eat a cookie (Tate's Gluten Free Ginger Zinger to be exact), shower, etc. Yesterday though on my drive home, I smelled food and needed food. I wanted to eat everything! So instead of having a healthy dinner, I caved and we had wings and gf pizza...and I ate and ate and ate (5 wings and 1/4 of a pizza). I was so happy to be eating.
I also had some of my Ben & Jerry's...they are wonderful (I actually met them and they are very nice) they created these "core" ice creams, and Peanut Butter Fudge Core is for me a pregnant girls dream come true!
A moment of relief and I took full advantage of it. Of course that morning I had weighed myself (I was feeling fat) and saw I was about the same weight or possibly lost a pound or two...so I allowed the indulgence. Amazing what cutting out wine does to a person *lol*
Anyway, aside from the morning sickness (that is worse in the evening for me) I had been having a hard time sleeping. I'm a little better the past two days, but I still don't make it the entire night. Between that "I have to pee" middle of the night wake up, being too hot or too cold, not getting comfortable, and cramps/pressure in my belly I just can't sleep. Sometimes I wake up and I don't know why either. I'm working on it though.
Earlier this week (March 18) I got to see the little tic tac again. He/She had grown so much in a week! This time the size of a cooked piece of rice and you could see the shape of a head and a bottom...and the egg sac. I can't believe how quickly things happen. The heartbeat also was up to 139 which is exactly where it should be...so yay!!!
I go back to the fertility center two more times next week. Monday for another ultrasound and blood work (still on progesterone supplements) and Thursday for my exit interview with the doctor. Then the following Monday (31) it's off to see the OB. I'm going to see if I can use both an OB and a midwife because I really want a midwife to be involved. I feel as though they understand differently. I'm weird I know.
I can't wait to post these blogs...a few more weeks before the world gets to know though. As of today I am 7 and a half weeks (7 weeks 4 days or 7W4D).
(Originally written: March 21, 2014)
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
"morning" sickness
Oh dear gawd! I am one of the lucky women who has the nausea off and on all day most days. It started early, like around week 6, and it did go away week 8 or so but slowly starting coming back and during week 10 (this week) it's been a huge biotch! I've only gotten sick a couple of times, it's just that constant "I wanna throw up" feeling...which makes it hard to eat but eating is one of the only things that can stop it...such a pitiful thing. Also, it's not a "morning" thing.
Exhaustion is another thing that you hear about but I didn't really think it would hit me...oh it does. Some days I worry about driving home after work because I'm so exhausted. When I'm able to get a workout in before 3pm I'm usually pretty good. If I don't, I won't work out and I will need a nap. I love working out, but sometimes I just can't do it.
Ok enough venting about early pregnancy woos, I'm so happy to have them. After everything we've gone through to get to this point, I am venting but not complaining.
Today is going to be amazing, 65 and sunny, and it's Friday!!!
Initial written on April 11, 2014
Exhaustion is another thing that you hear about but I didn't really think it would hit me...oh it does. Some days I worry about driving home after work because I'm so exhausted. When I'm able to get a workout in before 3pm I'm usually pretty good. If I don't, I won't work out and I will need a nap. I love working out, but sometimes I just can't do it.
Ok enough venting about early pregnancy woos, I'm so happy to have them. After everything we've gone through to get to this point, I am venting but not complaining.
Today is going to be amazing, 65 and sunny, and it's Friday!!!
Initial written on April 11, 2014
Bah! Spotting and pressure and freak out!!! 11 weeks!
Last week I had a little bit of pink spotting. I freaked, called the doctor's office, they said it was normal.
Yesterday I had brown spotting, wasn't too worried because it went away quickly. This morning I had brown spotting again, and freak out happened. Then an emotional freak out at work where I accidentally told my boss I'm pregnant (I was planning on telling her next week, but still).
I called the doctor's office, missed my call back, called again, and finally got a call back in the middle of the afternoon. The theory as to why I'm having morning brown spotting? A full bladder! I don't always get out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee, so I have a super full bladder when I wake up in the morning. The bladder is pushing on my uterus, causing irritation, causing spotting!
The pressure I was starting to feel in my abdomen area is because, well, I'm pregnant. I'm starting to get more full down there so there's going to be pressure down there.
I'm so much better when I have an understanding as to why something might be happening.
Add to that I'm extremely emotional today, says my hormones are totally out of whack.
So yay, random pregnant stuff.
I'm really hoping that my blogging about this stuff will eventually help others. It's super frustrating when googling stuff to get all of the scary situations or just the people asking questions, but no one really saying "yes, this happened and everything is cool". So here you go, this happened, and everything is cool :)
Written on: April 16, 2014
Update - everything is totally fine. It's NORMAL to have some discharge/spotting. The internet needs to post more things about what's NORMAL so that everyone stops freaking out about every little thing. I've posted in plenty of discussion boards about this, and now hoping that this will help some people. I'm now 13w2d and everything is awesome.
Yesterday I had brown spotting, wasn't too worried because it went away quickly. This morning I had brown spotting again, and freak out happened. Then an emotional freak out at work where I accidentally told my boss I'm pregnant (I was planning on telling her next week, but still).
I called the doctor's office, missed my call back, called again, and finally got a call back in the middle of the afternoon. The theory as to why I'm having morning brown spotting? A full bladder! I don't always get out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee, so I have a super full bladder when I wake up in the morning. The bladder is pushing on my uterus, causing irritation, causing spotting!
The pressure I was starting to feel in my abdomen area is because, well, I'm pregnant. I'm starting to get more full down there so there's going to be pressure down there.
I'm so much better when I have an understanding as to why something might be happening.
Add to that I'm extremely emotional today, says my hormones are totally out of whack.
So yay, random pregnant stuff.
I'm really hoping that my blogging about this stuff will eventually help others. It's super frustrating when googling stuff to get all of the scary situations or just the people asking questions, but no one really saying "yes, this happened and everything is cool". So here you go, this happened, and everything is cool :)
Written on: April 16, 2014
Update - everything is totally fine. It's NORMAL to have some discharge/spotting. The internet needs to post more things about what's NORMAL so that everyone stops freaking out about every little thing. I've posted in plenty of discussion boards about this, and now hoping that this will help some people. I'm now 13w2d and everything is awesome.
1st time IUI - success
I realized that I kept looking for success stories from people who had a Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) and I didn't really find many stories. There were a couple of posts in the chat forums but I found it difficult to find a real story.
Here is a real story of a first attempt at an IUI that we went natural with.
January 28, 2014 we had an appointment for a consultation for fertility help. We had tried for a year, and nothing. My husband and I both had a plethora of tests done to which we were told, it could be a few things...you're borderline so we'll call it unexplained infertility.
That's right...there's something going on, but we're not sure, so let's call it unexplained.
January 28, 2014 was cycle day 1 (CD1) so the doctor didn't want to start me on any medication since we were just going in for a consultation. After meeting with the doctor, discussing the different options, we had a mountain of paperwork to sign. We weren't even sure if we were going to start treatment/help right away, but when they have you there, both of you there, you just sign a bunch of papers.
We were told that we could do a natural cycle for that month, no drugs, no ultrasounds, nothing really extra...just start peeing on an Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK) around CD10 and once it turns, call them. I was like clockwork and on CD13 I got a positive. It was a Sunday and the center was closed so on CD14 we called first thing in the morning. At 9am we were at the center and my husband went into a room and did what he needed to do. An hour later we were in a room with a nurse with the processed baby making juice. We had 32.7 million swimmers and after they jumped into the pool (or were forced in I should say), we hung out for about 20 minutes. We were told to have some fun the next morning as well just to add to the numbers.
One week later I went in for bloodwork and my progesterone was around 9.4. They said that for natural that wasn't bad, but they wanted to put me on progesterone to increase the likelihood of a sticky bean. Let me tell you how not fun progesterone suppositories are. Twice a day...it gave me killer PMS...or perhaps it was the fact that I had a blastocyte bouncing around that gave me killer PMS or the embryo that decided to implant that gave me killer PMS. Regardless, killer...super moody, crampy, crying, sore and big boobies...but then it happened...CD28.
On February 24 I pee'd on a stick and I thought that there was a very faint second line. My husband said it might be there but not to get my hopes up. I decided I would call the center and go in for a bloodtest. Only I couldn't wait until they opened and I pee'd on a different stick and that one there was a positive...I couldn't believe it! I texted my husband and he told me to still call the center and get confirmation from the doctor before we got too excited. I went and at 3:30pm I got the call...I was pregnant! HCG was at 65 and progesterone up to 21. I had to go back on CD30 (February 26)...went in there and the HCG went up to 138 and progesterone up to 26.2. I had to go back on CD32 (February 28) and my HCG went to 325 (progesterone went back down to 21.6 but doctor wasn't worried).
So there you have it...you can have a natural IUI, first attempt, and it can work. Now I'm waiting until Week 6 Day 1 to have our first ultrasound (March 11)...this one is done at the fertility center...my first official OB appointment is March 31 when I will be 9 weeks...of course this blog post won't get posted until after that, so there may be a few updates made to this initial post, but overall that's the scoop. So yes ladies, it can happen :)
(Originally written: March 3, 2014)
Here is a real story of a first attempt at an IUI that we went natural with.
January 28, 2014 we had an appointment for a consultation for fertility help. We had tried for a year, and nothing. My husband and I both had a plethora of tests done to which we were told, it could be a few things...you're borderline so we'll call it unexplained infertility.
That's right...there's something going on, but we're not sure, so let's call it unexplained.
January 28, 2014 was cycle day 1 (CD1) so the doctor didn't want to start me on any medication since we were just going in for a consultation. After meeting with the doctor, discussing the different options, we had a mountain of paperwork to sign. We weren't even sure if we were going to start treatment/help right away, but when they have you there, both of you there, you just sign a bunch of papers.
We were told that we could do a natural cycle for that month, no drugs, no ultrasounds, nothing really extra...just start peeing on an Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK) around CD10 and once it turns, call them. I was like clockwork and on CD13 I got a positive. It was a Sunday and the center was closed so on CD14 we called first thing in the morning. At 9am we were at the center and my husband went into a room and did what he needed to do. An hour later we were in a room with a nurse with the processed baby making juice. We had 32.7 million swimmers and after they jumped into the pool (or were forced in I should say), we hung out for about 20 minutes. We were told to have some fun the next morning as well just to add to the numbers.
One week later I went in for bloodwork and my progesterone was around 9.4. They said that for natural that wasn't bad, but they wanted to put me on progesterone to increase the likelihood of a sticky bean. Let me tell you how not fun progesterone suppositories are. Twice a day...it gave me killer PMS...or perhaps it was the fact that I had a blastocyte bouncing around that gave me killer PMS or the embryo that decided to implant that gave me killer PMS. Regardless, killer...super moody, crampy, crying, sore and big boobies...but then it happened...CD28.
On February 24 I pee'd on a stick and I thought that there was a very faint second line. My husband said it might be there but not to get my hopes up. I decided I would call the center and go in for a bloodtest. Only I couldn't wait until they opened and I pee'd on a different stick and that one there was a positive...I couldn't believe it! I texted my husband and he told me to still call the center and get confirmation from the doctor before we got too excited. I went and at 3:30pm I got the call...I was pregnant! HCG was at 65 and progesterone up to 21. I had to go back on CD30 (February 26)...went in there and the HCG went up to 138 and progesterone up to 26.2. I had to go back on CD32 (February 28) and my HCG went to 325 (progesterone went back down to 21.6 but doctor wasn't worried).
So there you have it...you can have a natural IUI, first attempt, and it can work. Now I'm waiting until Week 6 Day 1 to have our first ultrasound (March 11)...this one is done at the fertility center...my first official OB appointment is March 31 when I will be 9 weeks...of course this blog post won't get posted until after that, so there may be a few updates made to this initial post, but overall that's the scoop. So yes ladies, it can happen :)
(Originally written: March 3, 2014)
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Icky
I hate being sick. It doesn't happen very often but I'm a huge baby when it does happen. I caught something a little earlier in the winter (maybe in December) but I've held my own all winter long and didn't really get sick. That is until today.
It's technically spring so I technically didn't get sick this winter. Of course it's 35 and raining outside so it doesn't seem very spring like. What is it about getting sick that sucks so much? It's our body saying, "slow down, sleep, relax" why is it so hard to listen? Why do we always have to be on the go? I'm terrible at that. I try really hard to take time for me to relax and to sleep, but it doesn't always work for me.
This morning I told myself that I had to go to work. I had to work a half day. I had 3 appointments this morning and some work to get done, so I could go in until noon and be ok. Well it's 10:30am and I'm wondering why I "forced" myself to do that. I tell myself a bunch of the time that I'll "feel better" once I get out of the house, that maybe I just don't want to go to work...but this time I'm sick. I'm sick and I'm stuck at work for another hour and a half...and I'm being a baby about it because I'm sick.
Spring sick I think is worse than winter sick. Everyone expects you to get sick in the winter, during the spring they think it's a lie. Even on a cold and rainy day (they think you just want to cuddle on the couch and read...which yes I do...after I nap).
Ugh, stoopid being sick.
It's technically spring so I technically didn't get sick this winter. Of course it's 35 and raining outside so it doesn't seem very spring like. What is it about getting sick that sucks so much? It's our body saying, "slow down, sleep, relax" why is it so hard to listen? Why do we always have to be on the go? I'm terrible at that. I try really hard to take time for me to relax and to sleep, but it doesn't always work for me.
This morning I told myself that I had to go to work. I had to work a half day. I had 3 appointments this morning and some work to get done, so I could go in until noon and be ok. Well it's 10:30am and I'm wondering why I "forced" myself to do that. I tell myself a bunch of the time that I'll "feel better" once I get out of the house, that maybe I just don't want to go to work...but this time I'm sick. I'm sick and I'm stuck at work for another hour and a half...and I'm being a baby about it because I'm sick.
Spring sick I think is worse than winter sick. Everyone expects you to get sick in the winter, during the spring they think it's a lie. Even on a cold and rainy day (they think you just want to cuddle on the couch and read...which yes I do...after I nap).
Ugh, stoopid being sick.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Starting a gratitude list
It is so very easy to get caught up in the crap.
I find myself working very hard on looking beyond the crap. I subscribe to MindBodyGreen and read lots of articles that talk about positivity. One of the things that was mentioned was writing down something that I am grateful for each day. While I don't plan on making it 100% public (that's just narcissistic and way too much bragging) I thought that I could at least start day one on here, thus hopefully spreading the idea so that others can focus on the positive things in their life.
In the beginning there are so many things to write about being grateful for, especially when you stop to think about it. The goal isn't to write down everything all at once though, it's to write down one thing each day.
This morning I am really grateful for my husband. He is one of the greatest people I have ever known. He is kind, funny, generous and just all around wonderful. I'm luck that we were able to find each other in this crazy world. I'm going through some difficult things right now and he is very supportive. I'm very proud of him too for all of the things that he is accomplishing. Tonight he has a final exam in one of his classes and I know that he's going to do great, even if he doesn't know it 100%. So thank you husband for always being there and being so wonderful.
That wasn't hard at all, and it kind of warmed my heart up (which on a 18 degree now going down to 0 degree in Chicago with windchill advisory of -20, that's saying something).
If I stop to think about all that I am grateful for, it really is a long list. I suggest that everyone take just a moment to write down something that you are grateful for.
I find myself working very hard on looking beyond the crap. I subscribe to MindBodyGreen and read lots of articles that talk about positivity. One of the things that was mentioned was writing down something that I am grateful for each day. While I don't plan on making it 100% public (that's just narcissistic and way too much bragging) I thought that I could at least start day one on here, thus hopefully spreading the idea so that others can focus on the positive things in their life.
In the beginning there are so many things to write about being grateful for, especially when you stop to think about it. The goal isn't to write down everything all at once though, it's to write down one thing each day.
This morning I am really grateful for my husband. He is one of the greatest people I have ever known. He is kind, funny, generous and just all around wonderful. I'm luck that we were able to find each other in this crazy world. I'm going through some difficult things right now and he is very supportive. I'm very proud of him too for all of the things that he is accomplishing. Tonight he has a final exam in one of his classes and I know that he's going to do great, even if he doesn't know it 100%. So thank you husband for always being there and being so wonderful.
That wasn't hard at all, and it kind of warmed my heart up (which on a 18 degree now going down to 0 degree in Chicago with windchill advisory of -20, that's saying something).
If I stop to think about all that I am grateful for, it really is a long list. I suggest that everyone take just a moment to write down something that you are grateful for.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
More letting go
It's amazing how much "letting go" has been a theme for me recently. There are so many different aspects of letting go that I really need to work on.
Letting go of situations
Letting go of people
Letting go of fear
Letting go of the past
Letting go of control
I think that I've improved on the "fear" and "control" though I do still need to be in control of certain situations...I'm realizing that I can't be in control of everything. I also realize that not everything is on my time schedule so that I've let go of as well.
Letting go of people seems to be harder for me. I have always wanted to be liked by everyone and have always wanted to give people second (and third and fourth) chances. When someone hurts me I usually turn the other cheek. When someone doesn't want to be around me anymore, I have a hard time with that. I think as I get older though that's becoming easier too...why would I want to be around someone who doesn't want to be around me? Additionally, why would I want to be around someone who hurts me? Life is too short.
Letting go of the past...and I guess also situations...that's a tricky one. If a situation was bothersome it seems to stick to me. Typically situations are in the past (though sometimes it's upcoming situations that urk me). I dwell and all that does is upset me and make me dwell more and upset me more...such a terrible cycle. Rather than feeding that feedback loop, there needs to be a way to interrupt it. I think the best way to let go is to replace those past situations with more recent ones...unless the past situation continues to repeat itself and then I suppose you need to move from letting go of the past to letting go of people! Unless it's different people, same situation, in which lots of self work would need to be done.
As we are in the final month of the year, focusing on moving forward is good...but it needs to continue throughout the year. It's a housekeeping of sorts. I'm packing up my office at work because we're getting some new carpet. I'm recycling old things that I don't need anymore and have no idea why I held onto in the first place. The same thing needs to be done to some memories and yes even people who are a part of our lives. It may be difficult and sad, but in order for new things to happen you need to move forward...that's the trick to remember most I suppose.
*edit*
A few minutes after posting this a friend posted this image on facebook...so I'm not alone with my thinking
Letting go of situations
Letting go of people
Letting go of fear
Letting go of the past
Letting go of control
I think that I've improved on the "fear" and "control" though I do still need to be in control of certain situations...I'm realizing that I can't be in control of everything. I also realize that not everything is on my time schedule so that I've let go of as well.
Letting go of people seems to be harder for me. I have always wanted to be liked by everyone and have always wanted to give people second (and third and fourth) chances. When someone hurts me I usually turn the other cheek. When someone doesn't want to be around me anymore, I have a hard time with that. I think as I get older though that's becoming easier too...why would I want to be around someone who doesn't want to be around me? Additionally, why would I want to be around someone who hurts me? Life is too short.
Letting go of the past...and I guess also situations...that's a tricky one. If a situation was bothersome it seems to stick to me. Typically situations are in the past (though sometimes it's upcoming situations that urk me). I dwell and all that does is upset me and make me dwell more and upset me more...such a terrible cycle. Rather than feeding that feedback loop, there needs to be a way to interrupt it. I think the best way to let go is to replace those past situations with more recent ones...unless the past situation continues to repeat itself and then I suppose you need to move from letting go of the past to letting go of people! Unless it's different people, same situation, in which lots of self work would need to be done.
As we are in the final month of the year, focusing on moving forward is good...but it needs to continue throughout the year. It's a housekeeping of sorts. I'm packing up my office at work because we're getting some new carpet. I'm recycling old things that I don't need anymore and have no idea why I held onto in the first place. The same thing needs to be done to some memories and yes even people who are a part of our lives. It may be difficult and sad, but in order for new things to happen you need to move forward...that's the trick to remember most I suppose.
*edit*
A few minutes after posting this a friend posted this image on facebook...so I'm not alone with my thinking
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