During this final semester and final class in Graduate School, I took Grief Counseling. It's an interesting course and I've learned so much information out about myself. One of the things that I've determined I need to do is redefine who I am and what I like.
So much of my life I have worn a mask, done things for other people or because I thought other people wanted me to do them. Now I realize (at only age 30) that I need to do what I like. Yes I enjoy making other people happy, but since I cannot control other people, I can only control myself, that is where my focus needs to be.
To begin this project (so to speak) I have started to do things that I used to enjoy doing. Things that I may have started for someone else, and now need to see if I like doing it for me. So far I have discovered that yes, these are good things for me.
Sunday, per the pictures I posted, we went on a 30 mile bike ride (with breaks in between). I want to go on another 30 miler this weekend, but alas, we have other plans at the moment. The ride was good and it felt great and I was all smiles.
Today, I went for a morning run. I have not been able to go running recently, no motivation, desire, or much enjoyment of it. This morning though, not the case. My brother told me last night he wants to go for a 5 mile run the morning of his wedding reception with me. I haven't run 5 miles since my bike accident almost a year and a half ago. No time like the present to start it.
I'm having fun figuring out my likes and dislikes again. So far, no dislikes, just likes :)
Ok, off to work!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Maiden Voyage
There were quick a few different voyages that we undertook today, all which deserve to be discussed, and many which should have been recorded but I forgot the Flip at home.
I went to deposit my first paycheck (which was totally messed up, missing about half of it, but should be fixed by Tuesday). So I went through the drive-thru and the boyfriend commented on how it was like we were back in the 80s. Yes, quite exciting for him as he is an ATM only user. While we were waiting for my receipt, we heard a car crash happen but did not see it until we pulled out. It was unique since normally you hear the beep and screech but no crash...this was a beep crash. No one looked injured so that was good.
Next step, driving to the newly renovated Target...on the way we passed this bar which has the Iowa Hawkeyes flag, Chicago Bears flag, and Indianapolis Colts flag. The bf pointed this out and said it was weird that they had Iowa and Ohio, when I heard that I looked thinking maybe the Buckeyes were there...no, he confused the Colts as being in Ohio not Indiana. That was the first of many awesome one liners from him today.
The Target is pretty awesome, wider aisles, more foods to pick from, pretty cool. We also found an awesome rainy day project of plaster bobble head kits that we get to paint! So excited to do this, you have no idea. The problem with the new Target, everyone is unsure of where things are, thus more wandering.
Why is it that people, while shopping, forget that there are other people around them trying to shop as well? It's as though people think walking down the middle of the aisle, leaving your cart wherever, randomly stopping, cutting people off, or the favorite of the day is as follows.
The checkout counters are setup two at in row. We were waiting in line and the woman starts to open up right next to us (meaning we were right at her conveyor belt). Instead of her taking us, or saying anything to us for that matter, we notice she's opening and as we were backing up, two guys say "Great timing" and start throwing their stuff on the counter. The bf and I look at each other and just said (loudly) well that was rude. I mean I'm all for waiting your turn in line, but when you're waiting in line and right next to the person who is opening up and at the belt, wouldn't you think you'd at least ask instead of try to push people away? Of course, we stayed in the line that we were in and that was a mistake. The cashier we had did not understand how to give gift receipts to the person in front of us, so by the time she got to us she wanted nothing to do with us. Including, not scanning our coupons nor taking off the discount for bringing our own bags.
New fact that I learned today though...you must be 18 years old to purchase compressed air. The woman who wanted nothing to do with me, carded me. I asked her for what. "Um, that" with a point towards all of the stuff we had bought. At first I thought it was the lysol, then realized it was the air. So yes...weird experience.
Joann fabric and grocery shopping were next, which were uneventful.
Now...I'm making my sauce from scratch (which I love) and instead of regular meatballs....beef sausage meatballs!
The other new adventure...dehydrating fruit :) We are in the process of dehydrating a bunch of bananas and a dozen apricots. Hopefully in 6-20 hours we will have some tasty dried fruit!
The unfortunate part about all of this, I was hoping to go to a Housewarming party at 3...it is 5:15 and I'm so not ready to go, thus, staying home and going to work on things around the house. In order for us to go out and take advantage of tomorrow's beautiful day, I cannot treat myself to a party today. I will make it up to my friend I hope by going out to dinner soon!
So I hope that the fruit comes out ok...and no, the Colts are not in Ohio :)
I went to deposit my first paycheck (which was totally messed up, missing about half of it, but should be fixed by Tuesday). So I went through the drive-thru and the boyfriend commented on how it was like we were back in the 80s. Yes, quite exciting for him as he is an ATM only user. While we were waiting for my receipt, we heard a car crash happen but did not see it until we pulled out. It was unique since normally you hear the beep and screech but no crash...this was a beep crash. No one looked injured so that was good.
Next step, driving to the newly renovated Target...on the way we passed this bar which has the Iowa Hawkeyes flag, Chicago Bears flag, and Indianapolis Colts flag. The bf pointed this out and said it was weird that they had Iowa and Ohio, when I heard that I looked thinking maybe the Buckeyes were there...no, he confused the Colts as being in Ohio not Indiana. That was the first of many awesome one liners from him today.
The Target is pretty awesome, wider aisles, more foods to pick from, pretty cool. We also found an awesome rainy day project of plaster bobble head kits that we get to paint! So excited to do this, you have no idea. The problem with the new Target, everyone is unsure of where things are, thus more wandering.
Why is it that people, while shopping, forget that there are other people around them trying to shop as well? It's as though people think walking down the middle of the aisle, leaving your cart wherever, randomly stopping, cutting people off, or the favorite of the day is as follows.
The checkout counters are setup two at in row. We were waiting in line and the woman starts to open up right next to us (meaning we were right at her conveyor belt). Instead of her taking us, or saying anything to us for that matter, we notice she's opening and as we were backing up, two guys say "Great timing" and start throwing their stuff on the counter. The bf and I look at each other and just said (loudly) well that was rude. I mean I'm all for waiting your turn in line, but when you're waiting in line and right next to the person who is opening up and at the belt, wouldn't you think you'd at least ask instead of try to push people away? Of course, we stayed in the line that we were in and that was a mistake. The cashier we had did not understand how to give gift receipts to the person in front of us, so by the time she got to us she wanted nothing to do with us. Including, not scanning our coupons nor taking off the discount for bringing our own bags.
New fact that I learned today though...you must be 18 years old to purchase compressed air. The woman who wanted nothing to do with me, carded me. I asked her for what. "Um, that" with a point towards all of the stuff we had bought. At first I thought it was the lysol, then realized it was the air. So yes...weird experience.
Joann fabric and grocery shopping were next, which were uneventful.
Now...I'm making my sauce from scratch (which I love) and instead of regular meatballs....beef sausage meatballs!
The other new adventure...dehydrating fruit :) We are in the process of dehydrating a bunch of bananas and a dozen apricots. Hopefully in 6-20 hours we will have some tasty dried fruit!
The unfortunate part about all of this, I was hoping to go to a Housewarming party at 3...it is 5:15 and I'm so not ready to go, thus, staying home and going to work on things around the house. In order for us to go out and take advantage of tomorrow's beautiful day, I cannot treat myself to a party today. I will make it up to my friend I hope by going out to dinner soon!
So I hope that the fruit comes out ok...and no, the Colts are not in Ohio :)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Things I have learned this week
- Illinois and California are the only states with Psychiatric Nursing Homes
- Many individuals at the Long Term Care facility are very active in programs available to them
- Sometimes it can be too early to be completely autonomous at a job
- I have been working towards the right goals in my life
- I am going to be an awesome therapist
- Walking home from work is a really cool way to unwind at the end of the day
- Working an 8 hours day is possible in this day and age
- Working an 8 hour day appears to have a negative correlation in regards to stress
- I remember what it is like to be happy
- I cannot wait until my internship is done (Saturday)
Monday, July 5, 2010
Nervous
I am so nervous about starting my new job tomorrow since it's not just a new job, it's my new career. I am so close to graduating, starting my new career, it's what I want and what I've been working towards, but I'm nervous as hell.
OK, going to go calm down and prep for my new career.
OK, going to go calm down and prep for my new career.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Having a "good" week
So I wanted this week to be a starting off point if you will. I had been partying a bit too much recently and needed to cleanse and jump start my body back into good habits. With that said, I did not drink any liquor after 2:00am on Sunday morning (in my mind still Saturday night). That may end tomorrow or Saturday, but I'd like to try and make it a full week. I also decided to cleanse my body of most toxins.
This is how my week has been so far.
Monday :
Workout
Morning - Jillian Michaels Shapeup Backside DVD
Food:
Breakfast - vanilla yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, 8 oz V8 Gogi Raspberry
Snack - peach
Lunch - Protein bar salad (lettuce, cucumber, broccoli, chick peas, tomato); small vegetarian chili
Dinner - peach, fruit salad
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
Tuesday:
Workout:
Evening - 60 minute bike ride
Food:
Breakfast -light blackberry yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries
Lunch: Strawberries, cherries
Dinner: Cabbage, tomato, zucchini stir fried in sesame oil; small piece of white fish with 1 potato and green beans
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
Wednesday:
Workout:
Morning - Jillian Michaels Shapeup Backside DVD; AM Yoga DVD
Food
Breakfast - light blueberry yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, V8 gogi raspberry
Snack: Pineapple
Lunch: Sopraffina: Caprese salad, fruit salad
Snack: Pineapple, wasabi peas, 1 whole graham cracker, 2 marshmallows, 1 piece of chocolate
Dinner: Boca chicken patti, 1 oz cheddar cheese, english muffin, zucchini
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
Thursday:
Workout:
Morning - AM Yoga DVD; 20 minute run (plus 6 minute walk for warm up and cool down)
Food:
Breakfast - vanilla yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, V8 gogi raspberry
Snack: Pineapple, cherries & peach
Lunch: Plan is either Baci or Roti
Dinner: Plan is more cabbage and tomato but adding protein
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
So why am I sharing this for the entire world to see? I feel that starting off by cleansing the body through fruit and veggies is always a good thing. Much easier to do in the summer than winter! You then need to slowly reintroduce protein. I am beginning to think more about being a part time vegetarian. I love me some meat, but eating how I have the past few days has made my body feel great.
I can tell that my body needs protein though, which is why I added some on Tuesday and again last night (other than the yogurt).
The key to this plan of mine though is the working out. This morning my plan was to do yoga in the morning and then workout after work (maybe even run/walk home from work), Instead, my body told me it wanted to run then, as soon as I was done with yoga. I had enough time to get to work on time instead of early if I went for a run, so I did it. Since the surgery I have not wanted to run (in all honesty I haven't wanted to run since being hit by the car last year). Today was the first day that my body told me it's time. Once out running my body also told me it's time to quit smoking again, for longer than 2 years like the last time.
I've also decided to challenge myself with this because of all of the transitions happening in my life right now. I'm about to graduate from Graduate School after being in the program for 3 years. My internship is almost up which has been my life for one year. I am changing jobs after being here for 2 years for my career change (but still not 100% public knowledge where I work). Plus, this is the first time that my boyfriend is actually going to be able to spend time with me without us scheduling something (even though we live together) since I've always been in school or school and interning (on top of my job). So this is a HUGE transition period for me...I'd like to be healthier during it, might as well right?
This is how my week has been so far.
Monday :
Workout
Morning - Jillian Michaels Shapeup Backside DVD
Food:
Breakfast - vanilla yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, 8 oz V8 Gogi Raspberry
Snack - peach
Lunch - Protein bar salad (lettuce, cucumber, broccoli, chick peas, tomato); small vegetarian chili
Dinner - peach, fruit salad
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
Tuesday:
Workout:
Evening - 60 minute bike ride
Food:
Breakfast -light blackberry yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries
Lunch: Strawberries, cherries
Dinner: Cabbage, tomato, zucchini stir fried in sesame oil; small piece of white fish with 1 potato and green beans
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
Wednesday:
Workout:
Morning - Jillian Michaels Shapeup Backside DVD; AM Yoga DVD
Food
Breakfast - light blueberry yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, V8 gogi raspberry
Snack: Pineapple
Lunch: Sopraffina: Caprese salad, fruit salad
Snack: Pineapple, wasabi peas, 1 whole graham cracker, 2 marshmallows, 1 piece of chocolate
Dinner: Boca chicken patti, 1 oz cheddar cheese, english muffin, zucchini
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
Thursday:
Workout:
Morning - AM Yoga DVD; 20 minute run (plus 6 minute walk for warm up and cool down)
Food:
Breakfast - vanilla yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, V8 gogi raspberry
Snack: Pineapple, cherries & peach
Lunch: Plan is either Baci or Roti
Dinner: Plan is more cabbage and tomato but adding protein
Drinks throughout day - water and green tea
So why am I sharing this for the entire world to see? I feel that starting off by cleansing the body through fruit and veggies is always a good thing. Much easier to do in the summer than winter! You then need to slowly reintroduce protein. I am beginning to think more about being a part time vegetarian. I love me some meat, but eating how I have the past few days has made my body feel great.
I can tell that my body needs protein though, which is why I added some on Tuesday and again last night (other than the yogurt).
The key to this plan of mine though is the working out. This morning my plan was to do yoga in the morning and then workout after work (maybe even run/walk home from work), Instead, my body told me it wanted to run then, as soon as I was done with yoga. I had enough time to get to work on time instead of early if I went for a run, so I did it. Since the surgery I have not wanted to run (in all honesty I haven't wanted to run since being hit by the car last year). Today was the first day that my body told me it's time. Once out running my body also told me it's time to quit smoking again, for longer than 2 years like the last time.
I've also decided to challenge myself with this because of all of the transitions happening in my life right now. I'm about to graduate from Graduate School after being in the program for 3 years. My internship is almost up which has been my life for one year. I am changing jobs after being here for 2 years for my career change (but still not 100% public knowledge where I work). Plus, this is the first time that my boyfriend is actually going to be able to spend time with me without us scheduling something (even though we live together) since I've always been in school or school and interning (on top of my job). So this is a HUGE transition period for me...I'd like to be healthier during it, might as well right?
Monday, June 21, 2010
My attempt to clean up
This past week was a very intense week. I found myself picking up some habits that I was not happy with, and not treating my body with the respect that it deserves.
Over the past 2 to 3 weeks I've found that I have not been eating properly nor working out so that stops NOW!
In order to prepare myself for the next few weeks of excitement and change in my life, I need to begin with a cleanse. For the next 2 to 3 days I'm going to complete a fruit and veggie cleanse and drink only water and green tea (all fruit or veggie juice is ok too).
I am also challenging myself to a 7 day workout event (potentially a 30 day event, we shall see). I began this morning by doing a Jillian DVD and expect to do one a day this week. I may start going for early morning runs again as well, but one step at a time.
The goal for this is to put my body back on the track I would like it to be. I enjoy working out. I enjoy eating healthy. And I really enjoy how I feel when I do those things (plus how my body looks). So...start things off strong early this week, then hopefully complete a 30 day change (so when I graduate in July I look and feel FABULOUS!).
Over the past 2 to 3 weeks I've found that I have not been eating properly nor working out so that stops NOW!
In order to prepare myself for the next few weeks of excitement and change in my life, I need to begin with a cleanse. For the next 2 to 3 days I'm going to complete a fruit and veggie cleanse and drink only water and green tea (all fruit or veggie juice is ok too).
I am also challenging myself to a 7 day workout event (potentially a 30 day event, we shall see). I began this morning by doing a Jillian DVD and expect to do one a day this week. I may start going for early morning runs again as well, but one step at a time.
The goal for this is to put my body back on the track I would like it to be. I enjoy working out. I enjoy eating healthy. And I really enjoy how I feel when I do those things (plus how my body looks). So...start things off strong early this week, then hopefully complete a 30 day change (so when I graduate in July I look and feel FABULOUS!).
Saturday, June 5, 2010
I have so much on my plate right now, yet I ignore some of the most important. Relationship stuff. I know, we all have relationship issues. Mine right now is essentially ignoring the warning signs and issues and just believing that the love is enough. I saw that in myself today and said no. I re-entered my apartment and went to my SO. That opened up the door that needed to be opened. Unfortunately, now he is in the other room sleeping, while I am here thinking and typing.
Why do we run away from the issues that are closest to our hearts? Is it a societal thing? Generational? Gender? Just me? I don't know. What I do know is that I need to prioritize or reprioritize what's going on with me. How does one do that? Lists, thinking, watching silly movies and making comparisons to my life...at some point I'll be able to identify what's most important.
What do I want to do? Sneak away with said SO and have a grand ol' time together...forgetting about the troubles of each day, and just enjoying what we have. Just thinking about that helps to remind me of what's important.
So to anyone who actually reads this blog...remember...keep those who you love closest to you in your heart and in your life. And as a wise person told me in class this week (thanks Lauren), "don't love your job more than it loves you".
Why do we run away from the issues that are closest to our hearts? Is it a societal thing? Generational? Gender? Just me? I don't know. What I do know is that I need to prioritize or reprioritize what's going on with me. How does one do that? Lists, thinking, watching silly movies and making comparisons to my life...at some point I'll be able to identify what's most important.
What do I want to do? Sneak away with said SO and have a grand ol' time together...forgetting about the troubles of each day, and just enjoying what we have. Just thinking about that helps to remind me of what's important.
So to anyone who actually reads this blog...remember...keep those who you love closest to you in your heart and in your life. And as a wise person told me in class this week (thanks Lauren), "don't love your job more than it loves you".
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