Day 30 of 40

I have recently had some interesting realizations during my reflections and meditations. The following two are ones that I want to highlight.

When you let go of something that you've been holding onto (typically negative) I feel that there is a whole left behind, a part of you becomes "missing". It can feel lonely, scarey, strange. I became quite emotional when I let go of parts of my negativity that I had been holding onto. I couldn't quite describe it or understand it, but it was almost painful, and I had some fear. Yesterday I realized that I had mostly let go, but needed to let go completely...and there was an empty space that needed to be filled...I chose to fill that with happy memories, love, energy, happy thoughts. I felt so full and happy and bright when I left my yoga practice yesterday. So when you let go of something, acknowledge the whole that it leaves behind, and fill it with positivity.

Planning...you cannot plan everything for if you do, you have no time left to live in the moment or for spontaneity. Life goes by so quickly that if you are always planning, you will miss something. Allow the self to experience the self. Enjoy each moment, be present, and be free.

There are going to be things you must plan in advance (concerts, plane tickets, big vacations, etc) but many things can just be as they are. I am working more and more towards being in the moment, experiencing everything as it comes, and not worrying about plans...for if they do not happen, or do not go as planned, I end up getting hurt or emotional...rather than enjoying what the moment brings.

My yoga practice is going well...I feel very strong and I look forward to the last 10 days of this experience. I plan to continue my practice, but potentially in a slightly different way.

Meditation this morning went much better than yesterday morning...though I do need to stay more present, it's something to work towards.