Day 26 of 40

Today I am pretty much posting directly from my personal journal...removing a few names and lines here and there.

I answered the questions today (note that each week of the 40 days there are a number of questions to answer. This week the questions were about what do you need to let go of). I need to let go of my ex 3 ex's ago. He’s been on my mind a lot. With the ex so much was about manipulation and having me serve him.

Some side information. There was a lot of negativity that happened with this ex and I never really worked through it. I'm realizing now that I had hidden so many memories deep down, and I need to work through them and let them go. This was over 8 years ago, and I've become a completely different person now than who I was then...and I'm proud of myself for that. But I need to identify, heal, and move forward.

On a totally different side of the spectrum, I need to run more for fun like I did this morning with Charlie (my puppy). I felt great getting out there before 6. I knew I only had a certain amount of time to run, so we didn’t force a distance...ended up at about 2.7 but some of that was walking, so I ran 2.5. I loved it this morning and my energy today has been very high. I’m looking forward to riding my bike to yoga tonight to a restorative yoga class...and then tomorrow either bootcamp or practice at home and walk bark in the park. I love to exercise, and I sometimes need to remind myself of that. I feel so much better when I do, but I think I turn it into a job more than I should. It’s about having fun and doing something good for the body, mind and spirit. Just like going to Wanderlust (I got those tickets yesterday). My friend and I will spend some time on Long Island...and then we’ll drive to Vermont and see (and possibly stay with my bestie Carebear) then go to Stratton and experience an amazing thing...yoga, meditation, hiking, chanting, music, speakers...Wanderlust. My 40 day experience will be over by about 30 days by the time I go, but I hope to continue a daily yoga practice, or as close to daily as I can get.

I’m so enjoying this experience, and I’m so thankful for the insight I am getting. I also call myself out on things...like when I mutter under my breath in the car when someone does something stupid...I laugh and tell myself “what happened to being non-reactive” and then I laugh again. I am so much more aware and in tune with myself, it’s just a wonderful feeling. I hope to continue on this journey after the 40 days and find new areas to open up.