Somedays you step in it, sometimes you are it

I keep thinking that to myself, I am assuming it's because I keep finding the dog poop after I have stepped in. Somedays you step in dog poo, somedays you are the dog poo, and other days are just awesome.

You would think with all of the positive things happening in my life I would be just in the awesome phase...that is not the case. I realized that somedays I just can't seem to stay away from the steaming pile of poo...but other days I do feel that I am negatively impacting someone else's day (though not intentionally). That's the thing though, the poo does not intentionally negatively impact someone's day, it just does. In all actuality it's the owner of the dog who is impacting you by not cleaning up the dog poo...but as a dog owner, I feel I can state that they (most of us at least) are not intentionally negatively impacting your day either. Sometimes people are just lazy (dog owners who don't pick up the poo), other times people are just unobservant (dog owners who don't realize that their dog left that poo), and another alternative is that people are unprepared (dog owners who do not have enough poo bags so they are unable to pick up the poo, but then become potentially the lazy person as they do not return to pick it up).

There very well could be those few dog owners out there whose sole purpose is to intentionally leave their dog's poo out so that people will step in it, thus intentionally trying to negatively impact your day, but there can't be that many Axis II dx (aka personality disorder such as Antisocial Personality Disorder) people in the city of Chicago...can there?

Back to what I had started saying...before I went off on the tangent regarding the different types of dog owners...it seems to me that I keep feeling as though I'm stepping in the poo and I may actually be the poo to others. I want to get this funk over with, but until I accept being the poo as well as stepping in the poo, I don't believe I can force myself through the poo.

Do you ever have one of those days/weeks/months where you just don't feel you have any control over your emotions? I'm beginning to wonder if we are meant to. Perhaps if we just allow ourselves to be open and honest and truthful with ourselves, our emotions would be what they are meant to be in a situation, rather than sneaking up on us at the wrong time...or keeping everything so pent up that we explode at the wrong person and at the wrong time. Maybe my friend was right and I just need to lock myself in the bathroom and cry it out...of course, I think a bubble bath would help too.

Observations of the West side

I have heard many times before how difficult it is for poor neighborhoods to get their hands on healthy food. I have seen some of the statistics for some of the poor neighborhoods in the city of Chicago before, and realized it was a problem, but it wasn't until this morning that I really paid much attention.

I drive on North Ave all the way west out of the city to get to work every morning. This morning (as I had a small green smoothie for breakfast and knew that I needed protein) I started observing how many fast food restaurants I pass by on my way to work. I did not keep an official tally, but this is what I believe I counted just in the city (not including the burbs):


Church's Chicken - 1
Popeye's Chicken - 1
KFC - 1
Wendy's - 2
Burger King - 2
Dunkin Donuts - 3
Subway - 3
McDonalds - 4
Mom & Pop Hot dog/Gyro/Beef - 8

Grocery stores:
Save A Lot - 1
Walmart - 1
Mexican fruit/veggie markets - 3

Drug stores:
Walgreens - 2

Liquor stores - 10

Again, I did not officially count, this is just me running things through my head, but yup...there are two actual grocery type stores, there plus the Mexican markets...but in the poorest parts of my drive, it's all fast food and liquor stores, with a few small shops that sell overpriced bread and canned goods.

There might be more available not on North Ave, but I doubt it...this just adds to the obesity epidemic...but I don't have the funds to buy up property to build a city farm stand :( maybe I'll start investigating how to go about working with the city to do that though.

Coming off of a SSRI

I hate coming off of SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor)...it's hell. This is the second time that I have gone on (and then come off of) a SSRI and I forgot how difficult it is. Going on them is hard, but coming off is rough too.

My anxiety had been managed for the past 6 months through medication and I've been coming off of it for the past month with a few more weeks to go. I am in the middle of a stressful time and I am not handling the stress very well. Coming off of the SSRI you need to relearn how to deal with your emotions and your spikes and valleys, but you also are having your wiring readjusted to not be chemically balanced...so you can overreact to things easily and have even wider ranges of emotions.

For me I tend to start up bad habits again, which will be stopped once the transition is completed...but the bad habits start again. I know that it's temporary but it stinks....it also stinks to feel depressed and not want to leave the bed all because my brain is trying to remember how to work without the assistance of chemicals.

Add to that this up and down stuff that's going on with my work life, and thus you have my extreme mood swings that I'm trying to keep hidden from others, and thus creates more issues and the cycle continues.

I need to get away...thankfully I will next week to the beach and the mountains and to a spiritual awakening with yoga...just one more week.

People are in their own little bubbles

I find the more that I drive and ride my bike, that people in cars tend to be in their own little bubbles. They do not see when cars are next to them, in front of them or behind them (in general). They are too busy jamming to some tunes (or more likely) talking on the phone rather than paying attention to the road.

The few that are paying attention seem to be getting frustrated with those who are not paying attention and building their road rage against other drivers and (unfortunately) cyclists.

I notice this more when riding my bike typically, though I am starting to see this behavior while driving as well. I must admit that I allow road rage to start building within me, but I remind myself that there is nothing I can do about another persons behavior, and I find my breathe. That is easier in a car than on my bike though...especially when people buzz me...even more when I'm 99% sure they see me and still buzz me. That's part of city riding though.

Day 40 of 40

Wow...40 days already gone and I feel amazing.

I had no idea how strong I could become in 40 days. This morning I did part of my yoga practice (approximately 45 minutes...but didn't get to do lower back and abs, that will have to be after work). I felt incredible and so strong. Last night during my practice at the studio I kept pushing myself and felt great. I almost was able to do a headstand.

I had no idea what I was in for when I started this journey, and even if I did, I doubt it would have ended up however I expected it to. This journey is all about getting what you need, when you need it, how you need it. So many challenges popped up during this journey, and each one was gotten through. I learned so much about myself and finally honestly love myself...even with a bit of extra weight.

Some things that I have discovered along the way:

-It is hard to let go of things, but it is possible. When I let go of things I do feel that there is a hole left behind that must be filled...and I will be aware of this and attempt to fill it with positive things.
- Once you step out of the comfort zone, it can feel incredible.
- Coming apart is a part of any process...and sometimes it just feels good to cry and let it all out.
- The rocks are hard to remove, but once you see them and start the process, the heart, body, and soul feel so much lighter.
- It's difficult to be still, but it is necessary to be still.
- It's nice to let go and not plan everything super far in advance...this allows for change and flexibility.
- Finding my drishti is not just for my yoga practice, it is useful in life.
- Many of the teachings of yoga are good for life...and the philosophy of yoga is slowly being incorporated into my life, creating so much calm and peace...I dig it
- The key for survival is to find my breath
- I enjoy practicing on my deck by myself, but I like the energy of others practicing with me
- I can be way too hard on myself, especially when I listen within my meditation
- Life is pretty amazing

Namaste

Sidetracked, but finding my way back - day 38 of 40

I was sidetracked earlier this week regarding my center and my breath, but I am finding my way back to me. It's amazing how when I am slightly off center/balance and do not have my guard up, how easily I stumble.

Over the weekend I had a lovely time, though a bit too much alcohol was consumed. This threw me off with my practice. I took Saturday off as a rest day and finished the previous week on Sunday. On Monday I went for a yearly check up and my doctor said things which I took as I am doing everything wrong. I have since recovered from this, however, it threw me for a loop. It has taken me 4 meditations (2 hours worth) to find my center and breath again since this discussion. I realize now that if I am off balance my guard must go up in order to protect myself.

I look back at earlier posts as well as the journal I am keeping for this journey, and only last week I was stating how centered I am and how happy I am with my body and spirit...on Monday it was though I had forgotten all of that and felt so small yet so large. Small in emotion and as a voice, large in terms of size. I realize again that I am me, I love myself, and I am worth more than I give myself credit for. Others love me, but I need to love myself and remember that I love myself.

This journey has had me open up to the fact that I am worth so much more than I thought. I do need to remind myself of the laws of transformation, especially to "relax with what is" and to "be true to yourself". When I do that, the light returns to my eyes, my heart, and I feel at peace and centered.

I have 3 more yoga practices to complete and 5 more meditations until this journey is complete...though I do hope and plan to continue on, as this journey was just the beginning.

Day 32 of 40 days to personal revolution + quinoa

Yesterday was a testing day for me. I had to wait, a lot yesterday. I felt off and not excited about the events...tired as well.

After work (which dragged on yesterday) I went to the chiropractor. I was early, but I needed to be out of there by a specific time. I waited a bit (due to my being early). I was "slow moving" according to the doctor, and the massage therapist noticed that my muscles were very tight, as though I were very stressed out (which I did not think that I was). I was then off to the hair salon. I did arrive 20 minutes early to my appointment, but my appointment started about 40 minutes late...thus I waited for an hour. I tried to be in the moment, I tried not to worry...but then the treatment to my hair ended up taking longer than expected so I did not leave until 3.5 hours after I arrived (2.5 hours worth of stuff done to my hair). I felt that between the chiro and hair, that I meditated enough for the day.

I was not upset, but I was getting irritated because I was hungry. I focused on that hunger and realized it was my own doing that I was hungry, but I was proud of myself for not giving in and getting sweets...I did give in and had cheese & crackers, jerky, and a grilled cheese for dinner at 9:30 last night...but it was that or nothing, and I knew I was going running this morning so I opted for that.

Once home, I relaxed...and I was happy that I had everything done yesterday...but being in the moment and not getting upset or frustrated was difficult...I was proud that I was only irritable towards the end of the appointment and I did not take it out on anyone...I let it go :)

This morning was a wonderful morning. I got out of bed at 5:45am and the puppy and I were out the door. A warm up walk followed by a run. It was 60+ degrees and very humid (so my hair has not stayed as lovely as it was last night, but that's ok). We ran about 2.5 miles with about 3 stops in there to walk because the puppy was trailing behind. Right after 2.5 miles, the puppy stopped and sat down in the middle of the sidewalk...refusing to move. I tried everything I could think of, and finally, I lifted up his bottom and he got up and walked 2 more blocks...and then sat down again. Now he had an audience, so he got up a bit quicker, and then started playing tug-of-war with his leash, and pulled me about a block...only 1 block left and he could have his breakfast...so that last block was just fine. It ended up being about 30 minutes of running and 30 minutes of walking overall, so a lovely morning.

Yoga will be this evening, 75 minutes of vinyasa at the studio. I'm looking forward to this class very much tonight. Tomorrow will be a solo practice at home followed by a lovely french cooking class...I'm looking forward to being in the moment at that :)

In terms of being grounded, I'm trying...I continue to focus on the present, and being here, and accepting things as they are...but man that's tough sometimes!

Finally, breakfast this morning...quinoa

I cooked up 1 cup of quinoa (1 cup quinoa, 2 cups water, bring to boil, simmer until water is gone)
I then took about 1/4 of what I made and had that for breakfast with 1/2 of a fresh mango and a tiny bit of agave nectar.

Holy yummy! I plan to have this again tomorrow and on Saturday with apples instead. I've read that this is a great breakfast, and I've seen others enjoying it, but now I have...and I share it with you.

Delicious :)

8 days remaining

Day 31 of 40, counting down

I continue to reach new levels that I did not know existed within myself. This morning during my practice, I released further into half pidgin than I ever have before. I let go! That is so hard to do in half pidgin, and in life. It appears to be easier for me to release and let go of things, at least recently, I hope that the trend continues.

I went to TruHarmony for a 6:30am hot vinyasa class this morning...and my butt was kicked. I don't know what it was about class this morning, but man I was challenged. I kept reminding myself to step out of my comfort zone, but sometimes I had to just be still and not move forward with the flow...I listened to my body. I'm so happy that I went this morning, and over the summer I'll be working at 9 instead of 8 so I should be able to attend this class more frequently.

I did not have a successful meditation this morning though, mostly because I got up, walked the dog, went to yoga, and that took a bit more time than I had originally thought...so I would say 10-15 minutes of meditation at the studio this morning. Last night, however, I struggled with my 25 minutes. I am curious to see what happens this evening as I feel there is something that is about to be released within me, and this is why the meditation becomes a struggle after 15-20 minutes. I'm interested to open up and allow myself to release whatever I am holding onto.

The diet...fine still...not nearly as intense as the fruit fast. I've been eating more fish this week and tonight making a tofu stir fry so lots of yummy options. I am debating about treating myself with something from Starbucks afterwork...but that would seem not to be a positive thing to do to my body...no matter how yummy it might taste.

Day 30 of 40

I have recently had some interesting realizations during my reflections and meditations. The following two are ones that I want to highlight.

When you let go of something that you've been holding onto (typically negative) I feel that there is a whole left behind, a part of you becomes "missing". It can feel lonely, scarey, strange. I became quite emotional when I let go of parts of my negativity that I had been holding onto. I couldn't quite describe it or understand it, but it was almost painful, and I had some fear. Yesterday I realized that I had mostly let go, but needed to let go completely...and there was an empty space that needed to be filled...I chose to fill that with happy memories, love, energy, happy thoughts. I felt so full and happy and bright when I left my yoga practice yesterday. So when you let go of something, acknowledge the whole that it leaves behind, and fill it with positivity.

Planning...you cannot plan everything for if you do, you have no time left to live in the moment or for spontaneity. Life goes by so quickly that if you are always planning, you will miss something. Allow the self to experience the self. Enjoy each moment, be present, and be free.

There are going to be things you must plan in advance (concerts, plane tickets, big vacations, etc) but many things can just be as they are. I am working more and more towards being in the moment, experiencing everything as it comes, and not worrying about plans...for if they do not happen, or do not go as planned, I end up getting hurt or emotional...rather than enjoying what the moment brings.

My yoga practice is going well...I feel very strong and I look forward to the last 10 days of this experience. I plan to continue my practice, but potentially in a slightly different way.

Meditation this morning went much better than yesterday morning...though I do need to stay more present, it's something to work towards.

Day 29 of 40 where I'm at

Well, I've been an emotional journey and I still have 11 days to go. I've lost about 7 pounds, not to mention the inches of toning that have happened. So physically I'm pretty excited about how I'm looking. Emotionally I let go of a ton yesterday. We ended up building a fire in our outdoor fire pit, and I wrote down a number of things that had been stuck within me for years due to one individual. I then tore up those items and threw them, one by one, into the fire. After which the smoke washed over us which I felt refreshing. Later in the evening the pain came out of what I had done...a last attempt at the past taking over me...and I let it go.

Of course, letting go of trauma and difficult things can leave you with an emotional hangover the next time...which is where I am at right now. I want to be at home, allowing myself to mourn the part of myself that I let go...but that's the thing, what I let go of was a part of me that was holding me back, so why mourn it? Celebrate and move forward. I hope to do that later today...after work and after my yoga practice. I was supposed to go support a friend who is on her own emotional journey, but I let her know I was not in the right place mentally to be supportive this evening (there will be others there) but I offered to be supportive tomorrow and the rest of the week. I need to take care of myself...and I'm taking steps towards that.

In regards to my practice, I FINALLY really took yesterday as a rest day (physically) and enjoyed the sunshine. Yes, I went for walks with the puppy, but that was it for exercise. I laid out in the sun, crocheted a bit, spent time with my friend, enjoyed some wine, and just relaxed the majority of the day away (aside from the big emotionally letting go).

The diet...I do really well following it until Saturday night...and on Sunday it's a free for all. I did have some alcohol and coffee on Sunday which I'm guessing I should not have done that soon after the fast, but I did. This week the focus is still on whole foods, but incorporating minerals. I have tofu to make stir fry with, tonight will be fish and a salad...and just need to focus on good solid whole foods with lots of vitamins and minerals. Of course, on Friday evening I won't be following that rule 100% since we have an outing at Cook au Vin which has been in the works for months. More on that to come later in the week.

I have found that on warm days, my comfort food and drink are frozen yogurt and iced coffee. This is a big improvement from the past...and though I am going to focus on the reduction of coffee, I love coffee, and while it takes minerals away, I'm going to allow myself that indulgence.

I am a strong person and I am becoming more enlightened each day thanks to this journey.

Day 26 of 40

Today I am pretty much posting directly from my personal journal...removing a few names and lines here and there.

I answered the questions today (note that each week of the 40 days there are a number of questions to answer. This week the questions were about what do you need to let go of). I need to let go of my ex 3 ex's ago. He’s been on my mind a lot. With the ex so much was about manipulation and having me serve him.

Some side information. There was a lot of negativity that happened with this ex and I never really worked through it. I'm realizing now that I had hidden so many memories deep down, and I need to work through them and let them go. This was over 8 years ago, and I've become a completely different person now than who I was then...and I'm proud of myself for that. But I need to identify, heal, and move forward.

On a totally different side of the spectrum, I need to run more for fun like I did this morning with Charlie (my puppy). I felt great getting out there before 6. I knew I only had a certain amount of time to run, so we didn’t force a distance...ended up at about 2.7 but some of that was walking, so I ran 2.5. I loved it this morning and my energy today has been very high. I’m looking forward to riding my bike to yoga tonight to a restorative yoga class...and then tomorrow either bootcamp or practice at home and walk bark in the park. I love to exercise, and I sometimes need to remind myself of that. I feel so much better when I do, but I think I turn it into a job more than I should. It’s about having fun and doing something good for the body, mind and spirit. Just like going to Wanderlust (I got those tickets yesterday). My friend and I will spend some time on Long Island...and then we’ll drive to Vermont and see (and possibly stay with my bestie Carebear) then go to Stratton and experience an amazing thing...yoga, meditation, hiking, chanting, music, speakers...Wanderlust. My 40 day experience will be over by about 30 days by the time I go, but I hope to continue a daily yoga practice, or as close to daily as I can get.

I’m so enjoying this experience, and I’m so thankful for the insight I am getting. I also call myself out on things...like when I mutter under my breath in the car when someone does something stupid...I laugh and tell myself “what happened to being non-reactive” and then I laugh again. I am so much more aware and in tune with myself, it’s just a wonderful feeling. I hope to continue on this journey after the 40 days and find new areas to open up.

Feeling amazing on day 25!

Wow...just wow. A three day fruit fast really can knock you all over the place, but I feel incredible today. I lost 5 pounds over the three days which is mostly water I know...but it's a time of the month where I hold onto lots of water, so there might actually be more to come off. My skin looks amazing, I feel very clear headed, aware, strong, light, happy, carefree. I am a bit tired still, but I think tomorrow that tiredness will go away. It doesn't help that the puppy likes to wake me up at 3:30am this week.

I did "cheat" slightly last night. The tomato and eggplant dinner I made myself needed some spice. I added crushed red pepper, fresh basil, garlic, salt & pepper (not much salt). That was delicious. I'm excited to eat it tomorrow over some vegetable pasta..and maybe add more basil and a touch of mozzarella :) Who knows though, I might stay vegan for a bit longer. Today is an all vegan day to transition from only fruit to more foods. Of course I have a ton of food that I'm going to eat, or so it seems.

How did I transition this morning? A vega energy bar, chocolate flavor, that tasted delicious. I had another flavor during my vegan month that I did not like very much, but this chocolate one gets a win from me. I also had some vega whole food replacement shake (chocolate as well) this morning. The two together gave me 350 calories so a good breakfast and snack, though I had them a bit close to each other for breakfast and snack, but that's ok. Lunch will be roasted vegetables...I have been looking forward to these since Monday when I started (since I thought initially this was a fruit & vegetable fast, but no, just fruit). My roasted veggies: carrot, parsnips, brussel sprouts, broccoli, tomato, garlic...in a word, YUMMY! In honor of Cinco de Mayo, for dinner the bf is making taco rice, and I will be having rice n beans with red pepper and some roasted or sauteed kale on the side. So yes, vegan for today and maybe tomorrow, but we'll see.

I can't believe how great I feel though, it's really amazing. No bloating at all right now, skin is shining and just overall I feel light.

In my morning practice, I was concerned because my knee was bothering me on my walk with the pup...once I was on my mat I was fine and I paid close attention to my alignment. All of the sudden I realized how strong I was with my high to low plank, my side plank, and holding my positions. Holding low plank was really exciting since I felt as though I was in perfect alignment and holding it just fine. I've finally arrived to that level in my practice...whatever that level is.

My meditations are not going as well as everything else, but I am trying!

Day 24 of 40...and day 3 of 3 for the fruit fast

Whoa...a 3 day fruit fast and it's almost complete. Yesterday was tough but today seems to be going well. I have found a number of fruits that I thought were vegetables, so it made it eating fruits much easier this week.

Dates are the most filling fruit that I have eaten. I love dates, and I've been eating about 4 dates a day (the big medjool dates), maybe 6 dates. Oranges have been yummy, strawberries and grapes as well. My favorite find was my cucumber mango soup (chilled) though the tomato and chipotle soup was good as well, and tasted good hot.

As for my practice, I feel very strong with my yoga practice. I am wanting to go back to the studio more frequently but right now I'm going to try and go on Friday and Saturday since I overslept this morning but I managed to get my practice in at home...just not at the studio. I'm ok with that.

I really feel so much more relaxed and lighter. I'm not as reactive as I used to be. I'm much more go with the flow. I just feel happier over all...and less stressed. I love me...I really am beginning to love me. So much has left my chest and I just enjoy each moment so much more than I thought possible. I'm smiling as I write this and it's genuine.

Enough sappy stuff...Recipes? Of course.
Source:
http://community.yogajournal.com/_Triumph-for-40-Days-to-Personal-Revolution/blog/225545/25925.html

Chilled Mango and Cucumber Soup Gourmet | August 2002

2 mangoes, peeled and pitted (2 pounds total)
2 seedless cucumbers (usually plastic-wrapped; 1 1/2 pounds total)
3 tablespoons finely chopped red onion - I did not use
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice, or to taste
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro - I did not use

Finely chop 1 mango and 1 cucumber and set aside. Coarsely chop remaining mango and cucumber and purée with 1/4 cup water in a blender until almost smooth. Transfer to a bowl and stir in finely chopped mango and cucumber, onion, lime juice, and 2 cups cold water. Place bowl in a larger bowl of ice and cold water and stir until cool.

Cooks' note:
·Soup can also be chilled in the refrigerator until cold, but it will take about 2 hours


Tomato-Chipotle Soup with Fresh Peach Salsa Bon Appétit | August 2000
(Note, I did not make the peach salsa since I could not find any peaches)

Yield: Makes 4 servings
ingredients
2 1/2 pounds plum tomatoes, seeded, chopped (about 6 cups)
1 cup (about) tomato juice
4 tablespoons chopped onion - did not use
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro - did not use
2 teaspoons (or more) chopped canned chipotle chilies* - I used 2 hole chilies
1 garlic clove, minced

1 ripe peach, peeled, pitted, diced (did not make)
1 teaspoon minced jalapeño chili (did not make)

Reserve 1 cup chopped tomatoes for peach salsa. Place remaining tomatoes in processor and puree until smooth. Transfer to 2-quart glass measuring cup. Add enough tomato juice to puree to equal 5 cups tomato mixture. Place 2 cups tomato mixture in blender. Add 2 tablespoons onion, 2 tablespoons cilantro, 2 teaspoons chipotle chilies and garlic to blender. Puree until very smooth. Stir puree back into tomato mixture in measuring cup. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Add more chopped chipotles, if desired. Cover; refrigerate until well chilled, about 1 hour. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Keep soup chilled. Cover reserved chopped tomatoes and chill.)

Mix reserved chopped tomatoes, remaining 2 tablespoons onion and 1 tablespoon cilantro, peach and jalapeño in small bowl. Ladle tomato soup into bowls. Sprinkle with peach salsa; serve.

*Chipotle chilies canned in a spicy tomato sauce, sometimes called adobo, are available at Latin American markets, specialty foods stores and some supermarkets.

nutritional information
Per serving: calories, 43; total fat, 0; saturated fat, 0; cholesterol, 0
Nutritional analysis provided by Bon Appétit

Week 4 - including the fruit fast!

What an incredible journey this experience has been so far. On Friday I had an emotional break through, though it was assisted by some wine. I was finally able to let go, step out of my comfort zone, and remove the rocks. I talked about a topic with my boyfriend that I have been trying to for months and just could not...finances. That to me is the hardest discussion, so tough that I had a panic attack prior to talking about it. Thankfully, I let go, and finally had the discussion, and now things are so much better. So much weight has been lifted.

I also was able to check in with my yoga mentor and discuss where I am at with this journey. I feel so much lighter than I was 22 days ago. Meditating is becoming something that I look forward to, that time for myself. This morning meditation was increased to 20 minutes and I ended up doing 25! It was not an issue at all and I enjoyed those 5 extra minutes. I will admit, it is difficult at 20 minutes to not switch into a dream state...staying present is so important, but a challenge.

The fruit cleanse is happening now. I have done fruit & veggie cleanses for 3 days in the past, and have the detox symptoms for sure. I guess because I have done fruit & veggie in the past, that is what I assumed this was. I was wrong. This is a fruit only cleanse. So what have I done today? Looked up what people mistake as vegetables and they are really fruit. This way, I can incorporate some of what I bought for the veggie part. I am also going to pick up a few other items that I did not think about. Eggplant, zucchini, more tomatoes...this does not have to be a raw fruit cleanse :) I also have looked up some new recipes and plan to make one cold soup, just not sure which one yet.

So for those of you who are thinking about this...here is a quick list of more savory fruits

Avocado
Cucumber
Eggplant
Green beans
Peas
Peppers
Pumpkin
Squash (including zucchini)
Tomatoes

What have I eaten so far/what is my plan to eat?
Breakfast - pineapple, strawberry, banana smoothie
Snacks & Lunch - grapes, clementines, orange
Dinner - avocado, tomato, cucumber salad

Tomorrow
Breakfast: Strawberries, melon
Snacks & Lunch - grapes, orange, clementines
Dinner - Cucumber Mango Soup OR Tomato-Chipotle Soup (with fresh peach salsa)

Wednesday:
Breakfast: Another smoothie
Snacks & Lunch: Left over soup, orange, grapes
Dinner - eggplant, zucchini, tomato cooked up

Coming off of the fast
Breakfast - green smoothie
Lunch - roasted veggies
Dinner - sauteed greens and quinoa pilaf

Of course, I'm coming off of the fast on Cinco De Mayo, so I may switch up the dinner slightly to include beans and guacamole :)

As for the practice itself...my yoga is so strong. I am connected with my breath, and I look forward to practicing each day. I ran a 5k yesterday and though it brought me joy, it was slightly different. Of course, I really do need to give myself that one full day of rest...this upcoming week for sure :)

Day 16 of 40 days of yoga, meditation, etc....

Week 3 has started off with a bang...sort of. I tried waking up yesterday morning at 5am in order to meditate and practice (15 & 45)....but no, that did not happen. So I meditated a little after 6 and did my practice after work. Meditating for 15 minutes is a challenge for me. Yesterday morning I was not staying present...last night I was distracted a bit less...this morning I could feel my back, neck and shoulders moving around...oh and sitting still for 15 minutes while focusing on your breath and staying present....holy hell is that hard.

I am working very hard on staying present and being with my breath...taking things as they come, going with the flow...that is a challenge for me as well...being non-reactive. I guess I did not realize that I have a temper deep down. I have passive aggressive thoughts and actually do want to snap...for a long time I've just put all of that deep down and let it build up until I explode...but now I am trying to stick with the moment...and I like to react and over-react to things. I really was not aware of the reacting thing...over-reacting yes, but typically that was when I was at my boiling point (or so I thought).

The yoga practice this week is fantastic. 45 minutes, my flow is really strong, my tree looks great...side plank is becoming easier and easier...it's all just flowing nicely for me right now (2 days into week 3).

I did go for a run with the dog last night, and that was super as well. I hope to go for another run tomorrow and then I do have a race on Sunday. Once these 40 days are up, I am going to have to find a way to continue to incorporate my yoga practice and my runs since both work so well together, and they both make me happy.

Lastly is the "diet" portion. This week is another week of eating whole foods...but being aware of when I crave things and sticking with the feeling. Yesterday, at Whole Foods, I craved raw almonds and bought them...and ate some on my way home. It was hunger not emotion...but after an incident yesterday with a neighbor, I did crave comfort food...but did not indulge in it. I acknowledged it, and realized it was a comfort food craving due to a fight or flight response, and I knew that I did not need that food...it was just a response. The craving went away. The raw cashews were hunger, and since I had not eaten that much earlier in the day, and had a run to get in before dinner...I figured that was a good protein and fat and calorie choice. As was today's lunch of a salad + soba noodle salad (with scallions, snap peas, red pepper and carrots, NO CUCUMBERS this time, mixing it up).

I am quite pleased with myself today.

Week 3 - equanimity

After a fast weekend with lots of traveling, cooking, and celebrating, it's back home and ready to start week 3. I will say that over the weekend my yoga practice hit a new level where side plank just made sense, so yay for that!

This morning my alarm went off at 5am so that I could meditate and complete my yoga practice before work...that did not happen. I did get up at 6 and was able to complete my meditation...15 minutes. I was strong with my meditation. I was able to acknowledge that my body wanted to fidget and let go of that...somehow though, I allowed myself to drift out, no longer focusing on my breath or even being 100% present...and BAM! Both hands moved up to my face and touched my nose. Well sh*t...I don't even know how it happened, but I need to pay attention to that.

I have reached out to my amazing yogi friend Megan today (she is the owner of TruHarmony where I practice) to see about my practice. I feel conflicted as to whether I should be following the practice provided in the book 100% or mix it up by attending some group classes and some of my own. I also feel the need to add more running back in. I haven't really run in 2 weeks, I've been so focused on my yoga.

I also feel as though I am not following the diet as well as I could be...I don't know what else I can do other than be more portion control aware, but I've been tracking everything and I seem to be under rather than over (except this past weekend I totally overindulged).

If I take away how I feel today (due to a busy travel filled weekend with a baby shower and cooking for Easter thrown in)...I am feeling much stronger and more fit overall. Today I feel exhausted and bloated and negative but I'm trying to change that by thinking positive thoughts.

According to the book, "Equanimity is the art of meeting life as it meets you". I am trying already to practice this...this week it just becomes my focus.

40 day - day 11

I am going through a number of emotions right now and it's becoming a challenge for sure. Last night I got home and decided not to go out for a double yoga day. I stayed in and did laundry in our basement too (which I never do because it's overpriced and, well scarey down there, and only one small washer and dryer). I just wanted to stay home. I made a healthy dinner...and had a few accidents that I needed to clean up (poor puppy). Oh and also, the cat decided to find a new hiding place, underneath our cabinets. So it was a good evening to stay at home.

A potential buyer of our building came in and he was not the nicest person in the world, throwing me for more loops. He flat out told me if he buys the building (but not at it's current price) he would be jumping up our rent. He also started insulting my cat, and when he was leaving pet my cat while I was holding him and said, "You're cute, even if you are a bit fat". He then looked at me and said, "I was referring to your cat".

Those two statements (there were others that bothered me but I let them go) really threw me for a loop. It added to my already odd emotional state. I started looking up condos to buy immediately to find an escape plan.

I need to just relax and not worry I realize this, but I ran from that moment (at least I am aware). This morning I was still dwelling on the fat comment and noticed that my meditation was difficult to focus on. I kept bringing myself back to my breath, but my mind would float. When it was time for my yoga practice, I opted to delay and wait until this afternoon. My left shoulder is sore today (where I had all the pain after being hit by a car) and I'm wondering where the root of that is coming from. Is it due to 11 days of yoga with multiple doubles or is it due to the emotional state that I am in with all of my emotions coming up from deep in my joints and now I've reached the shoulder? More to meditate on I suppose.

New rules - SUVs

In the spirit of Bill Maher, I give you new rules...well one so new rule:

New rule, if you own a SUV in the city of Chicago, and you see a small square of pavement that is grooved rather than smooth, you must drive over it rather than driving around it which backs up traffic and almost causes accidents.

This morning these two huge SUVs were in front of my driving (I drive a little fuel efficient Honda) and they both slammed on their brakes, and slowly moved around a small square that was maybe an inch lower than the street and grooved...typical in Chicago. They went into the other lane to move around this. Traffic was backed up into an intersection because of this and they almost hit other cars.

Meanwhile, I drove over the square as did this other little car next to me. So big huge SUVs that are meant to drive over boulders and scared to go over slightly uneven payment.

Day 10 - 40 days to personal revolution

I am into the double digits already, this is quite exciting.

I have noticed some changes with my way of thinking, and the challenges I have in pushing the negative thoughts out of me, not just pushing them down. There is a difference for sure. The pushing down means they will pop up again. During my meditation I am trying to identify the thoughts, and afterwards, let them leave my body and mind.

One I really like that I am keeping is as follows: "I need to accept myself and my body how it is before I can change it." This means, before I will even see the differences in my body and be worthy of it (since I will accept it and treasure it), I need to accept and love me for who I am now. If I can love myself how I am now, I can love myself how I will be.

I'm so focused on weight and appearance, and I do not really focus on the deeper parts of me. I suppose I feel that I am a good person on the inside. For the most part that is true, but since I am a "people pleaser" (historically) I may come across as a sycophant. That is not what I want to be viewed as. I want to do the right thing and be there for people, but not at the cost of myself and my views. This is going to be something else that I work on during this journey.

As for the yoga practice itself, I feel stronger each day, even when I'm sore and slightly weak. I held side plank properly on each side today again, though I took an extra breath to get setup. I find that I am taking the proper amount of time each day with my practice (30 minutes on the nose today) though all I am doing is following my breath. Ragdoll has become a favorite pose for me this week and I plan on taking it often in the future :) My cat did practice with me a bit this morning, but luckily the dog stayed in bed. My mind did try to convince me to just do the meditation this morning and go to a class in the afternoon for my practice, but I was committed to being on my mat this morning and glad that I was. I plan on going to practice tonight as well, possibly flow or sculpt, but it will be ok if I don't.

Wonderful day today, lots of possibilities!

40 days to personal revolution - Day 9

I am definitely on a journey, that is for sure.

The meditation for week 2 is to listen to the tapes that are on repeat in your mind. It is tiring to listen to those tapes for two 10 minute sessions a day. I had no idea how negative my tapes are. I am really quite hard on myself. I hope that over the next few weeks I will find a way to let go of those thoughts and move forward into a more positive tape regarding me.

The yoga practice is becoming something more familiar. I am still trying to get in my doubles, but yesterday that was difficult. I was up at 4:45 yesterday morning due to a puppy...but stayed awake for my meditation and yoga practice before getting ready for work. I then went to yoga after work. It was supposed to be bootcamp/sculpt, however, it ended up being an intense 60 minute flow and I was in the hottest corner of the room. I fell asleep before class and at the end of class...during class I had difficulties keeping up in a few areas and took child's pose which is fine. When it was time to leave though, I had no energy left...and was exhausted. This morning my practice was a bit difficult since my arms were quite sore. I like the sore feeling, but it does make it difficult for Sun A, Sun B and Side Plank (which I did not need the modification today!).

I am pleased though. The diet this week is focusing on eating whole foods and minimizing the processed stuff. Typically that is my life, eating more whole foods and minimal processed, or so I though. Tonight I am using a frozen fish as opposed to a fresh one...and I have been tempted to use some canned beans already this week, but I will do my best to keep everything fresh. My diet the past two days is as follows:

Monday:
Breakfast - green smoothie (red chard, spinach, wheatgrass, pear, kiwi, frozen berries)
Lunch - greek yogurt, raw granola bar
Snack - pretzels with almond butter
Dinner - shrimp stir fry with rice noodles

Tuesday:
Breakfast - green smoothie (kale, spinach, wheatgrass, goji berries, banana, pineapple, hemp seed)
Lunch - cucumber, hummus, pita chips
Snack - grapes with almond butter
Dinner - tortilla lime encrusted tilapia tacos

I think it's a pretty good mixture of things and I am trying to go as fresh as possible...and tomorrow I will be eating chicken and rice with veggies for dinner...a salad for lunch and possibly adding a boca burger to it so I can have some protein (yes I realize that is processed, but I need the protein). It's not about beating yourself up of course, it's about being aware and being connected.

I am feeling more relaxed overall and more aware. I have not been list writing, though I feel the need to write a list of the things I need to remember to get before going away for the Easter weekend...but if I forget it, I forget it. I am making a strong effort to go with the flow.

I am excited about this journey...and I am already 9 days in. This is going by faster than my vegan experiment...and that one flew by pretty quickly!

Day 5 of 40 days (yoga)

Why do I have a feeling this is going to be similar to my vegan month in terms of seeing how "easy" things can be if we are motivated to do them?

I admit, it is hard to face myself sometimes...the more I practice, the more open I become and honest I become with myself. I'm learning to let go of things, I'm learning to realize what it is I really want to change/improve. It's quite enlightening, and scary. I'm also finding I'm stronger than I think I am. What's interesting is that one of the places I practice at, which I love, I don't feel as though I am as strong there. We move through flow very quickly there, and perhaps that is part of it. I can't put my finger on it just yet, but I am being open to seeing what it is there within myself.

I enjoy taking the time to eat right. I always do when I do it properly (for me). I don't like putting crap in my body, yet sometimes I fall victim to the "it's easier" BS...it's really not. Making one batch of ratatouille involves prep time of maybe 15 minutes, cook time of a couple of hours (where you stir every once and a while) and it gives me dinner and 2 lunches...with just 15 minutes of me involved time (maybe 20 when you include putting it away). I just feel better when I have lots of fruits and veggies in me and minimal processed crap.

The dog is not understanding my new routine though. He (again) woke me up at 3am needing to go outside. 5 minutes after we came in, he let me know something was wrong, to which I assumed he needed to go out again...so we did, for 30 minutes...and he did nothing, because he didn't need to, he needed water. I still got up 2 hours later for meditation and yoga practice...and as I was getting to my mat, he needed to go out. He couldn't give me the 20 minutes I needed! But, I have learned, to let that go...everything happens for a reason, and perhaps I needed a few extra minutes to truly come to my mat this morning...perhaps. Just like I couldn't make my smoothie because the timing was all off for me to get to work, so I stopped and got a fresh egg and cheese sammich at Panera. I could have opted for a variety of "fast food" options, but I knew that was the closest thing to homemade I could get, and I need the protein.

I am noticing some changes within myself and physically. I feel my arms changing...they are sore but it's ok...and tomorrow I just have to practice and then a day of rest. Of course having double practice 3 out of the 5 days this week, and adding a bike ride on a 4th day has nothing to do with it (and a run tomorrow).

Meditation is becoming a key part of my day as well. I look forward to my morning meditation, and I am making better time for my evening meditation. When it increases to 30 minutes instead of 5 I might be singing a different tune though.

Day 4 - 40 days of yoga

I find it incredible how my body insists on doing a morning practice after only a few days in a row, and most of those doubles!

Last night I went to my yoga sculpt and bootcamp class. It kicked my butt, I stuck with it, listened to my body, pushed when I didn't think I could, modified when I felt I had to. I sweat, I got tired, I did well.

This was also after a morning practice and going to the chiropractor.

When I got home I figured I would not do a morning practice today, since I have a yoga event tonight...boy was I wrong! Though the puppy woke me up at 3:30ish to go out to pee...I was up at 6:30 with him again to go outside...and I just needed to follow up my meditation with my yoga practice. My body and my mind seem to enjoy beginning my day this way, so yay to that.

I also decided not to have any wine last night...this is a shocking thing for me since I love wine so much. I opted instead for half of a kombucha tea (Synergy Gingerberry). It was delightful. I was so enlightened after yoga and enjoying my kombucha that I realized why two of our lights were not working ("garden lights") and fixed them immediately.

I have also figured out where I am at regarding my food body pattern. I believe that I am currently in excess of heat, thus I need to be in a cleansing mode. It makes sense...and that would imply why having the green smoothies again is making me feel better. Yesterday I did not even have coffee...and I didn't need it today, but I did want it, so I made one cup for myself.

I can't wait for the creative chakra event tonight! The timing was great to match up with me starting my personal revolution.

I do feel more aware so far, so that is very positive. More to come :)

40 days to a personal revolution - day 2 and morning 3

I've decided that I'm going to keep track of a few things on this journey. I won't post all of the details of everyday on this blog, since that seems a bit TMI, but I'd be happy to share it if anyone is interested.

I am reflecting on things each day (or going to try to), as well as keeping track of what I do regarding the "plan" versus my own interests. For example, no additional workouts are needed during the 40 days. In the book it states, "you can continue, but I would also encourage you to lessen them. This program will give you what you need, and as you progress, you may no longer want to do your other activities." I'm going to try to keep up my normal routine but not force myself to. I've already found I just need to listen to my body as it really does know best. For example, yesterday though part of me really wanted to go for a run, my hamstring was still tight from the Shuffle...but a bike ride seemed like it would be great. It was a short ride, but it was a ride and I felt wonderful afterwards.

As far as reflections go, or funny stories...one of the best things, which I find hilarious, involves my puppy Charlie. Yesterday I did meditation after he and I had gone for his morning walk. He then decided it was play time, and whacked me quite a few times with his rope tug toy. Somehow I managed to stay in my meditation, but I learned very quickly meditation is best when Charlie is still asleep in the other room!

My yoga practice with a cat and a dog in the house is fun as well. This morning my cat, Bastian, decided that he needed to be on my mat. This really is nothing new, except that he kept returning to it after I'd move him off. Usually, he gets the hint...I guess he wanted to practice this morning with me. He was purring during my meditation which assisted me in finding my breath.

Some interesting things that I've had come to mind in my reflections. I'm feeling more connected to myself already and stronger. Today I felt that all I wanted was greens and other veggies to eat (green smoothie for breakfast, lunch of a salad and cucumbers and hummus, I already made some ratatouille for dinner). I feel energized as well. I did not think that getting up at 6am was going to be positive for me (though my normal wake up time is 6:30). I have lots of energy this morning and feel encouraged to wake up at 6 tomorrow to meditate and either have a yoga practice or go for a run (since tomorrow night is a yoga practice and creative chakra event at Luluemon).

So far, I am becoming more engaged in this process and excited to see what the next 37 days hold in store for me.

40 Days to Personal Revolution

I have decided to continue on in my path with yoga and follow Baron Baptiste's book. I've thought of doing this 40 day "challenge" in the past but was not ready for it. After getting the book I realize that it's so much more than I thought it was.

Week one is all about presence. "Waking up and becoming fully present to your body, mind, and life".

Yoga practice changes each week. The first week is a 20 minute practice. I did the practice yesterday morning but then went to a hot vinyasa class last night that went 70 minutes...so 90 minutes on day one...it felt good but I need to make sure I don't overdo it the first week.

Meditation is a big part of this experience. During the first week you meditate twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. I did well with my morning meditation yesterday, but after going to the White Sox game last night, I did not meditate well last night (I forgot until I was in bed and then tried there, which you really can't do). I'll be more aware this evening.

Then there is balancing the diet. Right now it's about being present with the food I put in, and identifying where my body is, since we're in flux I need to be in touch with that.

In addition to this, I want to continue my normal running routine, but after the Shuffle, my hamstring is sore and tight and I'm wondering if I should take another day of rest. So I'm listening to my body and have gone on two good walks with the dog this morning, in addition to my 20 minute yoga practice and 5 minute meditation.

This is day 2 and I am enjoying it so far.

In addition to the physical and meditative aspects, there are questions to ask myself, 5 of them. I'm reading them each day and thinking about them, but I'm not quite sure what my answers are, and I think that will be in flux.

I make a mean soba noodle salad (cold with cucumber)

I am in LOVE with the soba noodle salad I made for lunch today. I will try to remember everything that I did so that you all may share the love with me. All ingredients are approximate.

1 serving soba noodles
3 garlic cloves
3 green onions
1/2 red pepper (small)
2 handfuls baby spinach
handful of mushrooms
1/2 english cucumber
rice vinegar
braggs amino liquid
lime
sesame oil
salt & pepper

Start boiling water for the soba noodles and cook as directed.

In a hot pan, add a bit of sesame oil and add onions, garlic, red pepper...saute for a few minutes, then add the mushrooms, saute a few minutes more, add the spinach and cook down (salt & pepper to taste).

In a seperate bowl, combine a tbsp or 2 of rice vinegar and braggs amino (or soy sauce) and juice a small lime. Mix together.

Cut up half of the cucumber (I quartered then into thirds or so, kind of julienne style I suppose)

Drain the soba noodles and rinse in cold water.

Put the noodles in the pan with the veggies and mix around. Add the liquid and mix. Add the cucumbers and mix. Put into a container and drizzle a bit more sesame oil on top (shake the container to mix!)

Refrigerate for a while (I let it sit over night and had it for lunch today).

I am so loving this recipe!

Spring cleanse, day 4

The most challenging part is over! Two more days of a cleanse but food is involved now.

I want to try to express how I felt during the past few days of this cleanse.

Day 1 - lots of energy, excited about trying new green smoothies and an all vegetable smoothie/soup. Yoga bootcamp to cleanse the body (sweat) and spirit.

Day 2 - energy starting to fall, lots of emotions coming up, lots of thoughts creeping up, made a dinner of all vegetable smoothie/soup and could not eat much of it. Took a bath to cleanse the body, read a book instead of watching TV. Ran in the morning with the pup to cleanse the body and spirit.

Day 3 - emotionally drained, energy dropping, decided it was time to cleanse other areas of my life. Deleted old emails, removed the past that I was holding onto (the negative stuff) and began to shift my focus to the present and positiveness. Hot vinyasa yoga to cleanse the body and spirit from the inside out. Water and tea for dinner (no appetite) though I had to fight that.

I luckily had a friend to text because I was wanting to make a salad for dinner, but the cleanse was all about smoothies and water...I did not give into the urge, I managed to make it through the 3 days of intense cleansing.

This morning eating a bagel thin with almond butter was one of the most delicious things ever. Even though this was 3 days of intense cleanse, and I will do 2 days of vegan food (to transition back), I feel it is important to challenge our bodies and our minds like this. We can do so much if we just believe in ourselves. I wanted to give in, but a friend reminded me to stay strong.

We put so much emphasis on food, it ties in with our emotions, we celebrate with special food, we are concerned about what we are going to eat and when. Our bodies are made to go 40 days without any food, yet we are always so concerned with it.

Take a step back...yes, food is fuel that we need, but how many of us need that much fuel every single day of the year? Allowing myself to step away from that provided insight into me. It allowed me to let go of so much, so many things I didn't even know I was holding onto.

I feel lighter, more free, happier, ready to take on the next challenge.

We'll see how I feel after I get to clean the apartment :)

More thoughts on cleansing

I'm on day 3 of one of the more intense cleanses that I have ever done. I'm reminded that completing a cleanse is not just about the physical aspect, but the mental, emotional, and symbolic ones as well.

I have started to shed some of the old from my life and try to focus on the new. I am trying to learn how to love myself for who and what I am, and let go of the things I am not fond of.

I want to clean my entire apartment, to ensure that the cleansing is throughout my life, including my home.

I am running or doing yoga everyday this week so that I might cleanse my spirit and get some sweat out.

I went through and cleaned up old emails, and deleted old folders that no longer have a hold on me. I was holding onto old emails from people who are no longer a part of my life, there is no need to keep those negative reminders around.

The emotional toll on me is pretty big right now, but I am working through and letting go. I dropped a few tears last night, a form of cleansing in and of itself. I am working towards being more open so that I can let go and be more free.

Even with the life I have and I love, there is always ways to improve upon the life, the love, and the self...and that is what I am trying to do.

Spring time, new cleanse

I decided that 2011 is going to be the year of seasonal cleansing. In January, as you will recall, I completed a 30 day vegan challenge. That went really well, and I have so many wonderful recipes that I get to use whenever I like.

This cleanse is much shorter...3 days and day 1 is done. I'm doing a full green smoothie cleanse for 3 days. I'm opting for fruit & greens for breakfast and lunch, and vegetable & greens for dinner. So far, today went well. I feel like I have more energy, yoga bootcamp went really well today. Tomorrow morning will be a run so we'll see how I feel then.

Breakfast and lunch was the same smoothie from "The Green Smoothies Diet" book, created by Robyn Openshaw, the Green Smoothie Girl.
Kale Tangelo Tonic
2 1/2 cups water
1 bunch kale
bag of spinach
5 clementines
1 banana
3 cups frozen mixed berries
lemon/lemon juice
agave nectar
and I added some hemp seeds too

Dinner was from the Raw Family website, the Soup Gazpacho:
3 leaves kale, stems removed
1 bunch basil
3 large tomatoes
2 stalks celery
1 red bell pepper
1 large avocado
1 lime, juiced
1 cup water
and I added some flax seed oil

Only water to drink...though I did indulge in some sparkling water.

My plan for tomorrow is an Arugula & Pear smoothie, and making some Thai Soup or Cucumber Dillicious soup for dinner. Of course, lots depends on how I feel during and after my run.

My next cleanse will be in the summer, either a 30 day green smoothie detox (2 green smoothies and 1 green meal a day) or another vegan month leaning towards more raw vegan...and the fall cleanse, not sure yet :)

Stupid viruses!

Over the past few years I have been exposed to numerous germs. In 2008 I switched jobs, thus becoming exposed to new germs. I kept that job until the summer of 2010. In 2009/2010 I had an internship at a hospital...new germs again. By being at the job and the hospital the new germs were not cooperating with the old germs from the job, thus 2 years of getting sick.

I graduated this past summer from graduate school, so it was off to a new career. In the summer I started one job (it just wasn't for me) so this fall I got my dream job as at a College. The problem, thousands of students...lots of new germs.

So I've gotten sick about 2 or 3 times already.

I don't get sick...I don't like getting sick...and now for the 3rd year in a row, I'm getting sick! I need to stay at places longer and not introduce new viruses if at all possible because this stinks!

Double yoga

No, not a double rainbow...double yoga.

I have been consistently going to yoga at TruHarmony yoga for over 3 months now. I love that yoga is a part of my routine and I love that I am beginning to feel and observe the changes it is having on my body. I sit up straighter at work and have better posture overall. My running has improved with better posture and endurance as well as breathing. My attitude is very positive and fewer things bother me. I also have calmed down ever so slightly (which is huge in my world).

Over the past few months I have noticed that some people stay at the studio for a double. I had initially thought months ago that staying for a double was insanity. I was so exhausted after one class, why in the world would I stay for a double? I am still not the strongest yogi in class, nor do I expect to be anytime in the near future. Yoga is about the individual practice, and I am the strongest yogi that I have ever been.

On Wednesday I asked my instructor Megan if she felt I was ready to handle a double. She smiled and encouraged me that I could (her words were something like, "girl, you can run a marathon, you can do anything!") I made the decision that I was going to try it for sure on Saturday...but maybe I'd try it on Thursday too.

Yesterday I talked myself up all day and said it was time to try a double. A 75 minute vinyasa flow class followed by a 60 minute yoga sculpt and bootcamp class. I'm becoming friendly with a number of the people at the studio and I was warned that I was going to be starving at the end of this adventure and to make sure to take a break when I needed it since I would hit a wall in the second class. They were right...but the wall was not a big wall, and the hunger was typical hunger...for over 2 hours of intense exercise...pretty much as hungry as I am after a half marathon when it's warm out.

I went home, and my arms did not want to work. I laughed at it as I don't know the last time something like that happened. I inhaled my dinner last night (Tandoor Chef's Palak Paneer) which was delicious and I need to go buy a lot more of those. I then followed that with fresh cherries and some pistachios.

This morning when I woke up to shower, that was fun...arms were sore as anything and I loved it. I had a bagel sammich for breakfast because I could feel that I was still hungry...and then I just felt great. I feel very energized and centered today. Today actually feels like the best day in 2011 (which may have to do with a number of other factors, including awesomeness at work, payday Friday, finding cadbury creme eggs and reece's peanut butter eggs at the store, getting tickets to the Crosstown Classic...and oh Egypt becoming free). The soreness is becoming less as the day goes on, which excites me for my originally planned double tomorrow!

I do not recommend going for a double too soon, but when you're looking for a new challenge, every once and a while I'd suggest going for a double. Of course on Sunday, I'll be attending a new workout entirely (kickass cardio at Flirty Girl Fitness) so that should create some new muscle soreness.

Happy Friday!

Dibs!

Back to blogging about some observations for a bit.

Last week (February 1) Chicago was hit with a blizzard and 20 inches of snow were dropped down upon the city in less than 24 hours. It was quite incredible. On Wednesday (February 2) the digging out process began. The bf and I dug out my car pretty early in the day, before lunch, deciding it would be best to play in the snow as soon as possible to get the car out. The road had not yet been plowed, so there was only the snow that fell surrounding my car. It took the two of us a little over an hour to dig out the car.

In Chicago, once you dig out your spot you are permitted to claim "dibs" on your spot by putting out whatever you can find to "hold dibs" on your spot. Most neighborhoods respect the dibs, and after this storm there were very interesting items to claim dibs.

A sampling of what I observed around my hood & commute:
- Ironing boards
- Buckets
- The newly distributed phone books still in the yellow plastic
- Cardboard boxes

We didn't have anything to hold dibs on my spot, so when I returned to work on Friday, I lost my spot...which was fine since there were additional spots in my neighborhood that others did not claim dibs on.

Here comes the interesting thing. I had found a spot nearby, and I kept getting that spot over the weekend when I would go to yoga and come back. There was nothing holding the spot (unless the coke can that was rolling around really was meant as dibs). I started parking in that specific spot on Friday evening...last night when I came home from work, there was a bucket hold that spot for dibs. That was the first time there was anything there holding that spot.

In my opinion, you can't claim dibs on a spot a week after the storm hit. I just don't think it's fair. Would I love my prime spot that I dug out last week? Absolutely! But I did not think of a creative way to hold dibs on my spot, and I'm not there during the day, so someone else can use the spot. I am having a hard time believing that someone would claim dibs a week later. There is no way of knowing if the person claiming dibs is the person who actually dug the spot out at this point, though I'm sure if it's not that person, the individual will move the dibs holding item (I might consider it if it were my spot).

I just found it amusing and decided an observation blog should be written regarding this. I know that out on the east coast in Boston dibs are very common, and much more dangerous than it is in Chicago...however, I still don't know if a week after a storm if someone would claim dibs then.

Vegan experiment conclusion

I made it all 30 days of my vegan experiment/challenge. How do I feel? What did I learn?

I feel great. I find I have been sleeping more soundly and a bit longer, but that could also be due to working out 5-7 days a week.

I ended up losing about 6 pounds during this month with only calorie counting during the last week of the experiment to see what I was at.

I learned that going vegan is not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I also found that roasting vegetables is easy and delicious. Making seitan is easy and tastes good and is much less expensive them buying it at the store! I found that some recipes are awesome and some not so much. I learned how not all sugar is vegan, not all wine is vegan, most beer is vegan, most bagels are vegan, clif builder bars are amazing energy food for a run, kale is tasty, vegan peanut butter cookies rock. That's just some of the great things that I learned.

I have made the decision to stay vegetarian and continue experimenting with vegan recipes for a while. I may go back to eating other things, but I feel really good right now and I'd like to stick with being vegetarian for a bit longer. I'm excited about experimenting with different foods more and continuing to enjoy many of the benefits of a vegan lifestyle, but by being a vegetarian, I'm thinking I'll have an easier time getting protein than I have been...plus the bf said he has no problem cooking vegetarian for me, but he has worries about vegan cooking...so I wouldn't mind him cooking for me again :)

I'm very glad I did this experiment, and I'll post any new finds in the future, but thank you for reading!

Vegan day 30

Wow, day 30...it's amazing to me since on day 1 I was hoping to make it one week and here it is, a month later. I've learned how to make a number of different delicious foods and I have a new appreciation for numerous vegetables.

I have decided that I will remain a vegetarian and keep eating and cooking vegan dishes, but I think staying a vegetarian is going to be better for my lifestyle for the time being.

For my final day of the experiment my plan is:
Breakfast - wheat bagel with peanut butter & banana
Snack - orange
Lunch - last piece of pizza & salad
Snack - apple
Dinner - roasted veggies (brussel sprouts and the potato, parsnip, carrot, onion, olive mixture)

Of course going vegetarian starting tomorrow means going out for some cheese enchiladas :) A full report tomorrow on weight loss and how I feeling, etc.

Vegan day 29

Holy cow, tomorrow is it! While we were out doing errands today I made the decision that I will stay a vegetarian for a while, but not vegan fulltime. I kept thinking about cheese today...and a bagel with cream cheese (from Bagel Art cafe in Evanston).

Regardless, I've made a lot of changes this past month and I feel incredible because of them. I did have my first beer last night, and some vegan wine tonight. Delicious!

So breakfast was a tofu scramble with vegan sausage and some veggies...lunch was an apple before errands were, half a bagel during errands, some veggie chips and peanuts. Dinner was yum. I finally made the roasted brussel sprouts (picture below), vegan boca burger, and some tater tots (and wine).

I'm happy with these choices, I'm excited that I was able to do this! After day 30 I'll give a full report of course, but right now, feeling great :)

And now...roasted brussel sprouts!

Vegan day 28

28 days...I've made it through rehab *lol*...of course I'm thinking of having a pint today if we go ice skating, I think I'm supposed to wait until day 29 for that, but oh well.

Day 28 of being a vegan, I feel great.

Last night I made vegan deep dish pizza. I made the dough (same recipe as before, only seasoned this time and a mix of white and wheat flour). I made my own sauce. I had daiya mozzarella cheese (OMG yum) and some veggie sausage. I also added some grape tomatoes and lots of spinach.

The final product?


I ate half of that last night (it was created in an 8 inch pie pan). That is about 650 calories or so for half of the pizza (being aware that vegan pizza is still pizza, thus deep dish is still deep dish) but it was well worth it. I had run last night so I enjoyed my reward.

Other than that, I've been enjoying my roasted veggies and green smoothies. The strawberry-kiwi with banana, kale, spinach and mint yesterday was great, but I liked replacing the banana with mango today better. I may have to pick up some more kiwi's since they are delicious in a green smoothie.

I'm looking forward to making roasted brussel sprouts for dinner tonight, since I opted for the pizza yesterday...I hope that those turn out great.

Other than that, it's off to yoga and then potentially a run...and hopefully ice skating.

Vegan day 27

What a wonderful morning! I started off with some coffee adding a bit of soy french vanilla creamer (yum) and then I had a wonderful green smoothie made with fresh strawberries, kiwi, a frozen banana, some kale, baby spinach and mint. Delicious!

Last weekend a friend had asked me if I was going to Stanley's to get my fruit and veggies. For those who do not live in Chicago, Stanley's is a fantastic market where you get inexpensive fruits and veggies...but don't go overboard because they do not last too long. I was good yesterday and bought some strawberries, kiwi (10 for $1, only bought 4), cucumber (to make cucumber water again), lemon, asparagus (on sale!) and brussel sprouts...so I'm eating up the fruit already and tonight I'll need to make something with the brussel sprouts or asparagus.

Anyway, I hadn't even thought about going there, so I'm glad my friend mentioned it. It's just down the street from me.

I feel so fantastic...between yoga last night and almost a month of being vegan, I just feel so alive and full of energy. I was curious if I was going to get to this point of feeling fantastic, and it's just taken over me completely today. I feel kind of like I'm floating.

I wonder if that means I've detoxed everything (almost) out? Of course, I am thinking of having a pint this weekend after we go ice skating...but 28 days of alcohol free for a detox is good enough for me :)

I can't believe how alive I feel. Yay for being vegan!

I love kale

I just wanted to discuss how much I love kale. Not just regular kale, but multiple types of kale. I haven't had it raw in a salad yet, but I've been roasting it, putting it in soups, putting it in green smoothies...so yummy.

Today was roasted kale with some sesame oil and roasted garlic...along with more of that bean soup and some pretzels (so wonderful).

Oh and I started tracking calories, fat, protein, carbs, etc...I'm surprised at how little I'm at but how full I am, and that I have enough energy to do all the things I want to do. Of course, coffee is my friend, I love coffee so much, more than kale I'm thinking, but kale is a very good love of mine now...who knew?

Vegan day 26

I'm feeling much better so I'm back to making more food. So roasted vegetables were made for lunch today along with a salad. I haven't made green smoothies in a while so I'm increasing my amount of salads this week. I had one for dinner last night with some bean soup...so lunch today is a salad and some roasted veggies. I'm also increasing my fruit to at least two pieces a day.

When I went to my doctor on Monday she had said to be careful I don't eat too many carbs while being a vegan (she told me she was vegan for 3 years). I've taken that to heart and I'm trying to increase my protein and decrease my grains, also increase my fruits and veggies.

Since I wasn't feeling well earlier this week I haven't been getting enough nutrients, so a vega shake will be consumed at work as my snack since I had some low sugar oatmeal this morning (I really love oatmeal in the winter so I needed that back in my diet).

Back to yoga tonight (yay) and back to running tomorrow (yay) since I am feeling back to 100% again...I hate getting sick, but I should just admit it rather than prolong it.

Anyway...day 26, coffee this morning with soy creamer (french vanilla yum) and it's great...I may start up with alcohol at day 28 but vegan will be at least 30 days, if not more...vegetarian will stay for sure...that was an easy decision to make.

Vegan day 24 - sick

Ugh, I have finally surrendered and admitted that I'm sick. I've been fighting something for about a week and this morning I just gave up and gave in.

I've slept most of the day, and when I haven't been sleeping I'm lying on the couch. I wasn't really hungry until a few minutes ago...but what does a vegan eat when they are sick? I usually eat toast with butter and chicken noodle soup and some ritz crackers...none of those are options today. I ended up having a pear, then realized I had some brown rice and quinoa that I could heat up with some vegetable broth. That worked out well. I'm also making some bean soup for dinner if I get hungry again.

I'm not sure what started this...but it's all stomach and body aches...I'm hoping I can make it 6 more days as a vegan, but I may have to switch to vegetarian after day 30 after realizing there are certain foods I like when I'm sick, and I can't figure out the right alternative. I also could be sick since I've been going and going and going...vegan, no coffee, no alcohol, working out 6-7 days a week sometimes multiple times a day...and to think, I was planning on going for a run this morning. Maybe I'll take tomorrow off too from working out and then start back up on Thursday...I just love running and yoga so much, but I need my strength and to go back to work!

Being sick stinks...and being sick while being vegan isn't as easy as not being vegan, but it'll be ok.

Vegan day 23 - and coffee

I went to my doctor this morning for a check up. We talked about me going vegan, coffee free, alcohol free, etc. She was vegan for 3 years so we chatted a bit about that. She suggested I go vegetarian and not stay 100% vegan since it's hard to keep the protein up and it's easy to eat too many carbs. She said to keep it up for now though.

When we started talking about cravings, I brought up coffee. My doctor asked why I cut it out with all the other changes...she asked why not drink decaf...she mentioned a number of things. Finally she just said, drink the coffee, it's not bad for you.

So I came home and I made coffee. I feel so much better than I did when I woke up this morning. I think drinking coffee is going to give me that extra boost to keep the vegan lifestyle going a bit longer. If not vegan, vegetarian for sure.

For today, I wasn't really hungry so I had an orange and some pistachios...now I'm munching on a few pretzels as well. Lunch later will be some leftover roasted vegetables and maybe a cup of black bean soup I have at work...dinner leftover tomato soup and a boca chicken patty I think. Tomorrow I'll get back to cooking things from scratch again, but today I'm taking the day off :)

Things are looking good with energy and my skin is pretty bright and clear, I like it.

OK, relaxing a bit more before work...

Vegan day 22

Well this morning I weighed myself and I'm up 0.8 pounds. That is not a large weight gain and it might not be a gain at all...the reason I say that is that I held onto so much water during my colonic that it could be related to that.

I do feel pretty amazing still...starting the final week of this and the only cravings I have are for coffee, I want coffee so badly! I'm wondering how long I can go on this with coffee...I think we'll find out after this week :)

Vegan day 21

3 weeks? 3 freaking weeks already? That is awesome! I'm so excited that I'm 3 weeks in. I'm looking forward to one more week and then I get a cup of coffee...but I may stay vegan a bit longer...we'll see.

I found today that the vegan Boca burger does not have as much flavor as the other Boca burgers..so next time, add more seasoning...like the BBQ sauce I made yesterday.

Oh tomorrow is the big Bears-Packers playoff game for which I will be making avocado hummus (exciting isn't it?) Oh and I found some vegan sausage so I can make some more breakfast sammiches with that...or use that and TVP to make a spaghetti sauce (maybe tomorrow as well).

Short post today, more to come in the morning.

Vegan night 20 with Colonics!

That's right kids...colonics...I had one!

The experience was different and I do feel better after having one done. Lots of gas some "old" poop...lots of cleaning out of the system. I could see myself doing it again in a few months to clean things out a bit more...we'll see though.

I will say it's not that bad...and since I'm doing all sorts of cleansing and greening of my body, I might as well do a new age hippie stuff to my colon. The belly massage was kind of awesome, and the foot pressure was great too.

Now, vegan stuff...I made BBQ sauce and tempeh BBQ and it was delicious! I found out some sad stuff though...Morning Star & Boca are not vegan! The boca vegan burger is and the chicken patties are, but that's it! Nothing that I looked at today at least.

So that was the big news...the colonics.

Vegan day 20

Yummy!

So last night was a delicious dinner of a baked potato (with TVP, black beans, salsa, avocado, "cheez") and broccoli with "cheez sauce". So for lunch today I opted to make a "burrito"with the leftovers. Spinach tortilla, lettuce, black beans, "cheez" sauce, salsa, TVP, avocado.

YUMMY!

The cheez sauce is really close to cheese in texture and flavor...but it needs to be mixed with something, not just on it's own. I made a bunch of it though so I'm thinking of getting tater tots and dipping them tonight with either a veggie burger or a tempeh bbq sandwich.

I will post my recipes later on when I'm home, but I had to post about the deliciousness of last nights dinner and the lunch I just had...much better than my post about things that do not reheat well!

Also...there will be a surprise posting either this evening or tomorrow that is related to my cleanse...I know that you are all waiting on pins and needles for this exciting reveal!

Vegan day 19

I learned some new things yesterday! Some of the vegan foods that I've made reheat well, others do not. Examples that reheat well:

Soup
Beans
Chili

Things that do not heat well:
Pasta that is made with a lentil sauce

Unfortunately my delicious pasta dish from Monday, did not reheat well at all. I ate it, but the texture was totally off as were the flavors. So the next time I make it, I will be sure to cut the recipe in half so there are no leftovers.

This morning I noticed we have very little that I could bring for lunch. So I'm going to have to make due with a banana and almond butter, a piece of bread with peanut butter, and hopefully some rice that I have at work. Tomorrow is going to be similar, but I'll go shopping this weekend.

I've used up most of the greens in the house too...so this morning I had some dandelion greens to make a green smoothie with...and no other greens. It's all working out though. I find it interesting that I was so worried about what would happen if nothing is prepared...it's not easy, but you can totally do it...just not for long.

So day 19, tonight is a baked potato and some tempeh...and then tomorrow is another do what we can for lunch...but I'll be better prepared next week :) I am going to make sure that I don't become "lazy" and just eat prepared/processed foods...that is not detoxing!

Vegan day 18

Sorry for not posting a day 17 update, but yesterday I just felt off and exhausted...plus I had to take my kitty to the vet after work so that was my focus.

I'm really tired and I don't know if I'm fighting off getting sick or if it has to do with the detoxing of everything all at once. I may cave on the coffee after 21 days since that is a really bad craving I am having...but I'm going to keep trying to make it 30 days with no coffee.

I'ver also been being a bit lazy in terms of food this week. Yesterday my lunch was hummus, pretzels and snap peas (plus a yummy cup of instant vegan tortilla soup). Dinner was the left over curry cauliflower soup (which I improved by adding some ingredients) and an open face avocado, tomato & "mozzarella cheese" sandwich. Lunch today is again hummus, pretzels, snap peas and a vega shake, and dinner will be the leftover pasta from Monday night.

I've been cooking so much which is great, but I just need a few easy nights not to worry about it. Tomorrow night is easy too...baked potato and some tempeh is the plan. Friday night my plan is boca burgers...so I think one week of "easier" dinners gives me a good idea of how this will be if/when I lose the desire to cook something every night of the week (if I stay on this vegan journey beyond 30 days).

Overall though things are good, just tired and a bit "blue", but I'm thinking that's more due to it being January and a high of 8 degrees scheduled for Friday rather than the vegan experiment.

Vegan day 16

Today was quite a different day, and I'm not afraid to ask if something is vegan anymore.

I had to go get my blood work done today (will find out next Monday what it all says). I fasted since last night until my 8am blood draw...but I made a green smoothie and brought it with me. I made the "Morning Zing Smoothie" which was not cold enough, a bit too thick, but easily fixed (and will be fixed tomorrow morning). I downed that after I gave blood, which of course was not good on my tummy...at least I made it through 75 minutes of yoga :)

Then I dashed over to Whole Foods to pick up some red lentils for the dinner I had planned. Home and out again to meet a friend for lunch. We went to Roti for lunch, a chain (imagine Chipotle but for Mediterranean food). I asked a lot of "is that vegan" questions. You would think after I ask it once, I wouldn't need to keep asking it. Like I said, "is the pita vegan?" "I don't think so" ok easy, no pita then. Then I was asked what sauce I wanted, to which I responded, "which is vegan?" and the guy looked at me like I had 6 heads. I rephrased, "do any have eggs or milk in them?" light bulb moment...I could have the tahini sauce. Then the last guy skipped over all of the veggies and I was like, um, I want some olives man..."you'll have to pay extra" really? I can't have half of the stuff I'm paying for, which you have no problem with, but you're going to give me sh*t about some olives? (They didn't charge me extra for them).

My falafels were delicious and I was happy that we went there...but really man, that was a little frustrating.

More chilling after a lovey lunch, then a hair appointment (with products not tested on animals)...then home to make dinner. Tonight, very successful dinner...linguine with spinach & artichoke in a red lentil sauce. A bit lemony which is easily fixed, but very tasty and high in fiber and protein (lentils + whole grain pasta +). Yay! Plus a piece of the wheat bread I made yesterday.

Overall a successful vegan day...still not craving any foods, but I am starting to crave coffee but I can make it a bit longer.

Yay for day 16!

Vegan day 15 - pictures of some of the food

Since I've been talking about the Rustic Multiseed Wheat bread, I figured I'd take a picture. I also decided to bake more of the delicious peanut butter cookies that I made last weekend...so there are pictures here too.

Today has turned into a cooking day for sure. My 90 minute yoga class was canceled so I did about an hour on my own. It's nice to know that I understand the flow enough to just do it on my own, I felt strong and proud!

Back on topic, the reason why I opted to start baking and cooking away was because I have the time to do it. The Bears game is on and I'm watching while I bake. I'm just not sure what's on the menu for dinner tonight, but I'm not too worried about that.

Picture time!
Rustic Multiseed Wheat bread



It has good flavor, you can tell it's a wheat bread and is fresh. I'm please with it and think some toast or making a panini will be great...ahh dinner...panini and the curry cauliflower soup!

Peanut butter cookies


I love these cookies...I will leave it at that.

Luscious Coconut bread

As you can see, a good portion of this is already gone :) It kind of looks like rice krispie treats from this picture, but it's bread and it's delicious.

OK enough posting for the day...GO BEARS!

Vegan day 15 - the start of week 3

Good morning!

I am much happier with this week's weigh in as I feel it represents all of the hard work I have been doing. Of course that is in complete contradiction to what I said last week (about how 1-2 pounds a week is the best way to lose weight, etc) however, I did not have a big weight loss at the first week so I'm happy I got one this week.

Down 3.8 pounds this week (one scale)
A total of 5.4 pounds according to my scale
Down 4.2 pounds this week (according to the wii)
A total of 6.2 pounds according to the wii

I like the scale better though, it says I weigh 2 pounds less :)

I think if I could have used the bathroom this morning it would have been 4 pounds, but I'm not complaining :)

Working out 6 out of 7 days plus all of the healthy food choices I've been making is the reason...of course I do balance that out with some peanut butter cookies (mmmm)

I feel fantastic. I do not have any cravings for any meat/dairy/egg related items. I feel really peaceful and happy. Lots more energy during the day, though I am tired at night. I find that I am waking up early, but then going back to sleep until the alarm goes off.

That's about it for now...I'll let you know how the Rustic Multiseed Wheat Bread turns out.

Vegan day 14 - continued with recipes

So I took a phone pic of tonight's meal.

Luscious Coconut bread
Roasted Kale
Creamy curried cauliflower soup



Review time!
Coconut bread - I'm getting addicted to it. I think the next time I will make them into muffins instead and may add some almond extract. It's quite addictive.

Roasted kale - this is the easiest recipe in the world and it is really freaking tasty.

4 cups firmly-packed Kale

1 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

1 tsp. good-quality sea salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Wash and trim the kale:Peel off the tough stems by folding the kale leaves in half like a book and stripping the stems off. Toss with extra virgin olive oil. Roast for five minutes. Turn kale over. Roast another 7 to 10 minutes until kale turns brown and becomes paper thin and brittle. Remove from oven and sprinkle with sea salt.Serve immediately

Makes 2 servings

I ate both servings...and I used garlic olive oil instead of extra virgin which added a little extra flavor...but wow, yummy!

Creamy Curry Cauliflower Soup - I hate to say it, but I was a little disappointed in this soup. By the time I finished my bowl I was less disappointed. This was an example of mind playing tricks. The color reminded me of butternut squash soup, so I kept expecting something sweeter, but it was very spicy with the curry. I added a bit of sea salt too because it was a tad bland yet spicy...I think the next time I might add a bit of olive oil (as the comments suggested).

Overall I was happy with the meal and the soup was filling...I only ate one piece of the coconut bread.

So for the day:
Breakfast - Luna bar
Workout 1 - 60 minutes Yoga Bootcamp & Sculpt
Lunch - Vegan biscuits and gravy, green tea
Workout 2 - 5 mile run
Snack - Green smoothie (fresh banana, frozen strawberry, frozen mango, fresh kale, fresh baby spinach, fresh dandelion greens, splash of flax oil), detox tea
Dinner - Coconut bread, roasted kale, creamy curried cauliflower soup (above)

And the other bread...still rising...8-10 hours for the first rise! Then I need to do some more stuff and then the bread goes into the fridge until I can bake it tomorrow morning.

That's enough for today...enjoy!