Race results - Shamrock Shuffle

I feel like I used to have a history of all of my race results somewhere, maybe it was on livejournal (remember that site). I want to see my progress with the Shamrock Shuffle so I'm going to create an archive here for myself.

While running it yesterday, I thought it was my 10th time running it, but I don't know for sure, so lets find out.

April 3, 2016: 47:35
April 7, 2013: 55:04
April 10, 2011: 52:32
March 29, 2009: 46:10
March 30, 2008: 42:41
March 25, 2007: 51:54
April 2, 2006: 48:56

March 28, 2004: 49:41

I guess that was only my 8th time running it

It's been a while...

Since becoming a Mom I haven't really thought about blogging. This morning though I had the realization that I need to get some things out. Writing seems to help with that, especially on things that I need to revisit for my own health and well being. A blog may not be the best place since it's a public forum, but it's what I'm choosing to do this morning.

Back in July my husband and I started a change in lifestyle. We started eating very healthy and working out. It all began with 21 day fix extreme (21DFX), a 21 day program through BeachBody. There is a regular 21 day fix (21DF) program but we (accidentally) ordered the extreme. I remember that first week my legs were jello! We also were doing food prep for the next day until 9:30pm or so. We did it for 3 weeks and were very proud of ourselves. We took a couple weeks off from the extremeness of it, but stayed eating healthy with portion control and kept working out. We started another round in September and then another one in November. In between rounds we stayed healthy and worked out and really viewed it as a lifestyle change.

It's now March and we've changed out the workouts to Insanity Max 30 which is insane, I'm not going to lie. But it's the end of week 3 and I'm feeling strong!

So why talk about all of this? Well, after having my son in November 2014 I began to really accept myself for who I am, no matter my size. I was able to have a great pregnancy, have my child naturally, feed him, take care of him, and all sorts of other accomplishments. That experience really made me realize I am more than a size, I had my identity and I was good with myself. I was proud of my body too, carrying and birthing a child is pretty amazing.

In July of 2015 though I started to want to be healthier for my son, my husband, and myself. I still had 7 pounds to lose from the pregnancy (I had gained 40 pounds, so a pound a week pretty much) and I wasn't at the healthiest weight when I got pregnant either, but my "numbers" were always pretty good, I was just a bit overweight. Making these lifestyle changes improved all of that.

So here I am, about 8 months later, down 40 pounds and feeling amazing. But what do I see? That's the problem, I don't. I realize I'm 4-5 sizes smaller than I was in July. I feel incredible and have tons of energy and can keep up with my toddler (which is really what I want). I know I am healthy (again what I want) but why can't I "see" me?

I have (self diagnosed) body dismorphia. Most of my life I have been overweight. I remember as a child "dieting" all of the time. I remember my Mom doing the yo-yo thing my entire life. I don't want to do that to my child. It's not fair to him nor is it fair to me (it's not fair to my Mom but she continues to live on that roller coaster and I can't change that for her, I can only change my choices). So because of this, when I look in the mirror (or at pictures) I don't see me the way others see me. I realize that there have been scientific studies that show many women (or people in general) don't see themselves as others do, but I relate well to that.

For example, this is me in July, 2015




This is me this morning (March, 2016)

Lets look at this side by side shall we?


I don't see that woman on the right, not yet, I hope to one day, but I don't see her. The good news is, I don't see that woman on the right anymore either. I see myself like this (only I don't really have this cleavage)


Why am I writing all of this? Because I think it's important for others to know this is a thing. I think it's good for me to revisit this time and time again so that I can see the changes I have made. I think it's important that I realize that I am not a size or a number, I am so much more than that, and I have (mostly) discovered that...but it's still hard to recognize and see.

I truly see these things about myself. I am strong, I am outgoing, funny, a great Mom (who loves to babywear and breastfeed and all the hippie stuff you can imagine), a fun wife, a bestie, a workout queen, a doggie lover...I love to laugh and enjoy a good cry, I procrastinate when I can. I love my family, I love my tribe, I love life, I love the spring and fall but enjoy all the seasons. I am me and I love that! It's about time that I see me for all of the things that are me though, including how I look on the outside as well as on the inside.

But why am I changing my lifestyle? Because if you had these two in your life, wouldn't you?

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My birth story

Birth story time!

I was having contractions starting around 7:15am on November 4. Got to triage around 10:30am and was 3cm with contractions every 3-4 minutes. Got admitted and brought to L&D around noon. Had the most amazing nurse who is how I managed to stay going all natural. Did walking and birth ball, had lots of people talking with me. Got checked around 3 and was only 4cm so doctor broke my bag. Holy cow did that speed everything up! Went walking and contractions were every 2 minutes or less. Wanted to give up on natural. Felt like I had to poop! Nurse heard that and got excited so we decided to get me a shower. I was primal screaming so into bed and I was 8cm. The doctor was pushing with another patient so the midwife came in, about 5 pushes and I was at 10cm just as the doctor came in. I think 3 more and he was out. I pushed for 20 minutes (so it had to be more pushes) but I was done before the residents made it in! His head is 37cm and I did it :) 8 pounds and 10 ounces of love that is 21 inches long. From beginning to end only 10 hours of labor. I did tear a little but worth it :)

Coming to an end?

I am 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant today.

It's incredible to think about really. I have grown a human. I can feel him moving around and how he's changed (kind of). After trying so hard to conceive, finally conceiving, making it through the first trimester, growing in the second trimester, and now winding things down in the third trimester, this journey has been incredible.

I tried very hard not to complain during my pregnancy since it was so hard for us to get pregnant. Are there rough days? Absolutely! This part is really hard because sleep is not really happening, there is no way to get comfortable, and hormones are making me crazy. Add to that contractions starting, fluid leaking, stuffy nose, waddling, baby dropping...it's just a whole lot happening at once...and I'm still working (go me).

Things that I feel I have learned:
1.) Limit what you say to a pregnant person, especially towards the end
What I mean by that is while I appreciate everyone being interested in my pregnancy, I hear the same thing 50 times a day and it's hard to keep answering some questions.

2.) Everyone has an opinion and yours is wrong
Ugh, people are just asshats! Everyone will give you their opinion of what you are going through compared to what they went through even though every pregnancy (and every person) is different. I just keep thinking that it's good practice for when these people start to tell me how to raise my child.

3.) Exercise is awesome
Well I already knew that, but I was able to do real workouts until about 36 weeks where I was riding a bike, swimming or on the elliptical in addition to walking and yoga. Now I'm just down to yoga and walking but I'm still doing those things and it really does make me feel good, and I think has helped me throughout the pregnancy.

4.) The body is an amazing thing
I can believe how stretched out I am, it's crazy! This is a comparison photo from 6 weeks to 37 weeks.

I should take a picture this week to show that I've dropped but I keep forgetting to do that.

5.) Gratitude

I had already started a gratitude list at the beginning of the year (which I failed at keeping up with). I am grateful for so much though, and being pregnant has helped me to see even more. I have amazing friends and family and support system. My husband is the greatest man in the world. My dogs are incredible as is my cat...and my husband and I are really good at training them (when we are consistent). Our world is very full and complete and wonderful. We are lucky and I'm happy about that.

6.) Ferris Bueller was right

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

I am excited to meet this little man and I realize that while this journey is coming to an end, I have a new wonderful journey that's just about to begin...and luckily I can have some wine to help me with this new journey :)

Witnessing road rage

On my way to work today I was able to witness some crazy road rage...like I had my phone out to call 9-1-1 road rage. All of this was in my rear view mirror and it scared the crap out of me.

It all began as I was turning right onto River Road...the car behind me threw some trash out their passenger window (from the drivers seat). I shook my head at him but just kept driving. I then realized that car (a Lexus of course) had been really close to the line a few blocks earlier (two lane road) and was pretty close to hitting the side of my car. The road I was on is kind of thin for two lanes so I'm used to cars being close on that road, but I started thinking about that.

Now on River, it's a two lane road, I stay in the right hand lane...the Lexus took the left hand lane but was behind me. Cue the Nissan. The Lexus was riding the line and the Nissan didn't like that. The Lexus then began trying to cut off the Nissan, the Nissan then sped up and back and forth this went. The Lexus driving in his 50s the Nissan driver, in his/her 20s. The Lexus kept driving between the two lanes, swerving back and forth between the two lanes. Somehow, the Nissan was able to pass the Lexus, though the Lexus tried very hard to prevent that from happening and got REALLY close to my back end...somehow the Nissan squeezed in between the Lexus and me...and then the Lexus turned left at the light.

This all took place over approximately 1/2-1 mile of road.

This would have been freaky in general, but pregnancy makes me paranoid so I was super scared. That's why I have my phone out to call 9-1-1 but by the time I got my ear piece in (to follow the law when calling) the Lexus was turning left. I thought about calling in case the Lexus remained in poor driving condition on Belmont, but decided to just let it go and blog about it as an observation...be careful out there kids! Between the blood moon with it's eclipse and mercury in retrograde, I think that there are a ton of crazy things that could happen today.

Nerves

I'm starting to get really nervous about all sorts of unknown (and uncontrollable) things. I am 99% sure that this is a normal part of pregnancy, but wanted to write about it anyway.

My due date is 5 weeks away from today. 5 weeks away...35 days...holy cow, 35 days away. I realize that he can really come at any point between now and then (and a few days later) but still...35 days away.

I'm nervous about labor, which is funny because a week or two ago I told my husband I wasn't. I know it's going to hurt, but I know it's temporary. Of course, as my baby has less and less room, and I experience these fun "practice" contractions more and more, I'm becoming nervous about labor.

I'm nervous about delivery...so much can go right, wrong, unknown!

I'm nervous about the weather and about traffic. It's Chicago, I realize that there is always going to be traffic, I'm just nervous about it. Weather at the end of October/beginning of November can be anything too.

I realize I have NO CONTROL over any of the things I'm nervous about. I think that's why I'm nervous about these things...no control. I realize I am about to enter this next stage of my life where I have no control. It's terrifying!

I'm nervous about my dogs, even though I know I don't need to be. I need to be aware but not nervous. I'm nervous about my recovery, what if I can't leave the upstairs of my house for a week or two due to delivery complications?

What if I don't know I'm in labor? What if I go too early or wait too long? What then?

So many things to obsess and be nervous over, it's insane. I keep trying to do little things here and there to set my mind at ease, but it's not working anymore. Plus the exhaustion is just overwhelming...but I still try. Yesterday we went to the Farmers Market, made chili and an apple pie, and put up Halloween decorations...I just laid down in between those things.

Today, I will work all day, swim, and hopefully put away some of the baby's clothes. Tomorrow I will work on packing my bag (which is another holy crap moment). My husband needs to pack his own bag...and I need to remember to pack stuff for the baby in my bag. Oh and installing the car seat, but that's my husband's job.

Again, all scary things...all things that I'm starting to ask, "what did we get ourselves into"...but I know that it will all be alright in the end...I mean come on, Weezer's new album is even called, "Everything Will Be Alright In The End" that's a sign right?

(Almost) 35 weeks and counting

So this is where the bloating and the irritability and the beginning of lack of sleep kicks in. I have very little fuse and it's noticeable. I try really hard!

For example, someone just told me, "wow, you really are bloated" in regards to my feet. Yes I know. That didn't bother me too much. The comment that another person made did, "are you trying to avoid salt?" really? That's your question to me? I'm 35 weeks pregnant...I'm trying to avoid anything and everything that could potentially make me feel worse...and do you honestly think that SALT is my problem?

I'm also really irritated because I am at work today when I really shouldn't have to have been...and the event was in direct sunlight...so after 2 hours I was sent inside because I was beat red and had trouble breathing...and after an hour inside I'm feeling sick. But do I get to go home? Nope...need to stick it out at least another hour.

Oh well :(

Overall this pregnancy has been great...I'm in the home stretch...this lil man needs to bake a little bit longer.