Letting go

Two little words, why do they haunt me? I feel as though letting go is one of the most difficult things in the world to do. Whether it be physical (letting go of a blankie), emotional (letting go of the hurt caused from a bad breakup), mental (letting go of a failure from the past)...letting go is difficult.

I'm trying to let go of too much at the same time right now. I should focus on letting go of one thing at a time, instead I'm attempting to force myself to let go of (what seems like) EVERYTHING. It's such a huge burden on me to even think about all that I'm trying to let go of that I don't seem to be letting go of anything at all.

There are so many things...work, emotion, weight, past, worries, personal, career (different from work)...you would think that I would know what to do (I'm a Counselor, I'm trained in this sort of sh*t)...yet I cannot use my techniques on myself. You would think my acupuncture, yoga and running would help...which makes me worry that it is helping and that this is all the residual crap that's left over!

Taking the time to breath is such an important part of our survival, and yet I don't do it often enough...which causes this huge build up that needs to be released.

How do you let go especially when you feel that everything is falling apart?

Sugar is not my friend

When am I going to learn that my old ways of coping are no longer the things that are helpful to me? I mean, not that they were helpful before but they were disguised that way.

I'm having a rough day...I keep crying which I hate to do at work, but I can't seem to knock it off. I ate my lunch late (which doesn't help) even though I was hungry early.

What did I do? I ate a total of 6 pieces of chocolate over 2 hours...and I had a belly ache but mostly I feel jittery and the carb/sugar monster is making me think I'm hungry which I am not.

Chocolate and sugar just don't "fix" me the way they used to.

What I should have done was gone for a walk, gotten more water or tea, and just stepped away...instead I went for an old habit.

I will learn from this and I am writing about it so that I will remember to learn from this.

I will workout after work today and I will go for a run as well because that is what will help me...not stuffing myself with sugar but getting my endorphins going.