It's my life

I'm becoming frustrated with too many situations in my life right now. Typically, after 12 weeks of something I would have adapated to it...I'm having a rough go at adapting right now though and I can't figure out why. I think there's a part of me that is unsure of what the next steps in my life are and that could be adding to why, 170 hours into something I'm wondering what is going on.

I think I wonder about this next phase, and if the industry is what I believe it is, or what I am beginning to see it as. Is everyone really burned out or is that just what I am exposed to? Is the system so messed up that people who just need short term help can't get it unless they are thrown into long term care facilities?

I think I'm just getting some hardcore exposure and I hope that once I am in the field I find that there is some happy alternatives that I just don't have exposure to right now.

Add to that my frustration at my $ place and concerns about if I need to think about next steps and what not.

I need to win the lottery so that I can just focus on the next chapter rather than straddling the current with the next. I don't know when the next chapter will actually begin, which I think adds to the frustration.

I am happy that I have most evenings back for myself right now...and hopefully during the winter I'll have one weekend day back, I'll lose some nights, but I'd rather have a Sunday then 3-4 nights free.

I cannot see the light yet, but know that the light is there...170 hours in, 530 hours to go...I can do this...I have support...I just need my friends to understand that I need some time alone every now and then and not to take offense to it (PLEASE!)