A much needed break

I was able to recharge my batteries this weekend. I had a lovely Thanksgiving with my boyfriend, his family, and his sister's boyfriend's family. Funny thing, though there was lots of food, I really don't think I ate that much...I felt like I did but thinking back on it, not really. Friday was great...I went shopping for a bit, went to the chiropractor, shopping some more, had lunch and relaxed a bit after some more shopping. Went to dinner at the bf's sister's place and then to a show to support my friend and his new band. That was fun...walked about halfway home in the cold that night (about 2.5 miles or so) really made me feel good.

Saturday was complicated. I was very emotional and felt like I was running behind all day. I finally just cried a bit and felt sorry for myself. After crying that really helped me to feel better and I went and got my nails done and then my hair done. We went out to a lovely dinner and then my birthday party. So much fun at my birthday party...we went to Delilah's, again, fantastic night.

Sunday we woke up and stayed in our PJ's all day long. It was the perfect birthday...we hung out and watched movies, ate junkfood, and just relaxed. I really needed some relaxation time and it helped me get ready to keep going with my internship!

Really?

So I don't check my balances enough, I'm aware of this. But it used to make me so depressed to see how little money I had in there, so I lived within my means, would splurge every now and then, but mostly behave.

Last night there was a discussion of finances which made me think of checking my balances. That and I received a notice of a new bill that I needed to pay. I went to check my checking balance and saw about double what I was expecting to see. "What did I forget to pay" was my first though.

Why is it when you actually are saving money your initial instinct is that you forgot to pay something? Really my only expense has been cigarettes (yes I know I should quit, I want to quit eventually, we will not discuss my nasty habit right now).

Back to what I was saying. I frantically looked at what I've paid this month, everything was accounted for. I then moved some money into Savings, realized that I can do a bit more Christmas shopping than I thought, increased the amount that I'm paying back on my student loans by $35.

I figure after the holiday's, if I still have this extra cash around, I'll make a big payment to one of my CC's.

I guess dropping my rent by two hundred dollars for a few months adds up quickly...well, not really two hundred since I have a storage unit I'm paying for, but still, an extra hundred a month can add up pretty quick. Guess I might be able to get out of debt sooner than I thought...how unAmerican of me.

It's my life

I'm becoming frustrated with too many situations in my life right now. Typically, after 12 weeks of something I would have adapated to it...I'm having a rough go at adapting right now though and I can't figure out why. I think there's a part of me that is unsure of what the next steps in my life are and that could be adding to why, 170 hours into something I'm wondering what is going on.

I think I wonder about this next phase, and if the industry is what I believe it is, or what I am beginning to see it as. Is everyone really burned out or is that just what I am exposed to? Is the system so messed up that people who just need short term help can't get it unless they are thrown into long term care facilities?

I think I'm just getting some hardcore exposure and I hope that once I am in the field I find that there is some happy alternatives that I just don't have exposure to right now.

Add to that my frustration at my $ place and concerns about if I need to think about next steps and what not.

I need to win the lottery so that I can just focus on the next chapter rather than straddling the current with the next. I don't know when the next chapter will actually begin, which I think adds to the frustration.

I am happy that I have most evenings back for myself right now...and hopefully during the winter I'll have one weekend day back, I'll lose some nights, but I'd rather have a Sunday then 3-4 nights free.

I cannot see the light yet, but know that the light is there...170 hours in, 530 hours to go...I can do this...I have support...I just need my friends to understand that I need some time alone every now and then and not to take offense to it (PLEASE!)

The strangest combination

At lunch today, we had no desire to go anywhere, but needed food. All of the sudden my friend said, "Oh, I heard Burrito Buggy now has Indian food". Perfect, Indian food near us at the office! But at a Burrito Buggy?

Indeed, at the Burrito Buggy they have Indian and Mediterranean food, and way reasonable in price and way too much food.

I finally decided on the appetizer platter because I couldn't decide what I wanted. In my $5.99 platter I received 5 falafels, 1 samosa, a tub of hummus, pita, rice and salad. In my friends $4.99 veggie platter she received a samosa, paneer, naan, rice, and a salad.

This is delicious and so reasonable...must go back and get the lentils!

Why Monday? Why?

I hate it when things get me down on a Monday. Monday is a very, very long day, even more so since I have a half day off on weekends now in which I try to get everything done a normal person would do over two days off. I still haven't figured out when to get the laundry in...looks like Tuesday night this week.

I just would much rather get the week off to a good start than a questionable start. Monday's are one of my 13 hour days. Work 8:30-5, transit over to intership, intern from 6-9/9:30, transit home. So I'm usually gone from my house from 8 until 10 on Monday's...14 hours away from home. What happens in those 14 hours can be any number of words, but today it's been disappointing. I really hope that my 6-9 tonight goes by quickly and well.

I need to determine when I can take some time off. I just don't foresee it happening any time soon. Christmas is going to feel like such a long vacation for me (4 full days off!).

Why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I just take on a part time job and intern? Most of the time I realize that's just silly, but today is one of those days that I am so drained, and it's only 4:23.

Give me your tired

So again I'm having a hard time waking up in the morning...but it's not the waking up part, it's the getting out of bed part. This morning for example, I was ready at 630 but stayed in bed until 715. This must change. JW was very clear that I am allowed to leave the bed if he is still sleeping (thanks honey).

Week one of no days off worked quite well I must admit. I feel as though the Sat, Sun, Mon routine is really good. I get to see some of the same people and get in a few sessions with them. My supervisor at the internship wants me to get really good at one aspect (hx) and then start do more in depth work...that's really what I want to do. I hope it all works out.

Upcoming things that I need to prep for...November 22, 5k race. I haven't run in about 1.5 weeks I think...so tomorrow I will run home from work and Friday I hope to get in a run after work. Sunday should be beautiful so perhaps a run post internship then...or even a run home from internship (though I'm not sure I can get 5 miles in right now).

Laura G leaves for Argentina today...bon voyage my dear! You'll still be reading this blog so I'm sure you'll be all excited to have a shout out. She'll be back once Chicago becomes warmer again.

Oh and observations...since that is what this blog is supposed to be about. I've observed that people who take the el, in general, are more "normal" than people on the bus. I've been taking both modes of transportation for a while now and truly the bus people are more interesting than the el people. That is not to say that unique characters are not on the el, but the bus seems to have a higher proportion of them. For example, Monday night I am knitting on the el and this woman (who I could smell the alcohol on her breath) had been calling her children and yelling about her $200 phone that she kept dropping. After a few of those phone calls she looks at me and my knitting and tells me what I'm doing is beautiful. She then asks to touch the scarf I'm knitting and goes on and on about how women don't do this anymore, etc. I tried to mention I've seen some people but that was just pointless. Luckily she was almost at her stop so this discussion about my knitting did not last long. She did get teary-eyed talking about my knitting and how it reminded her of her mother, who she was going to see and gave me way too much history...but still, that happens more on the bus than the el.

Oh, public transportation...how you are an interesting storyline.